Full Metal Panic! - Corrections Topic

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Volume 11 - Part 6:

[27%] “This is nuts... haha....” ► It should be 3 periods.
[55%] so much that she didn’t even miss sleep. ► Should this be did instead? Going by the context she wasn't sleeping.
[83%] Besides, she thought next. are the US Navy ► It should be a comma.
[93%] Tessa felt the same way, know that this might ► It should be knowing.

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Volume 11 - Part 7:

[42%] He’d like to have asked about the status ► Maybe He would have liked to ask?
[48%] Something was lying beyond the crumpled ► It should be Someone?
[59%] Sousuke realized. I won’tbe able to stop the ► It should be won’t be (space).
[60%] Sousuke stuck him with a IV and gave him ► It should be an?
[74%] much room, as it just about the size of a ► It should be it was.

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Volume 11 - Part 8:

[Generic] At first we have 12 missiles (4 missiles * 3 Behemoths); then we have six missiles (we lost half somewhere?) once the scene returns to Sousuke; then Sousuke shoots down 4 missiles and destroys the remaining 5 with the lambda driver (for a total of 9). The total count keeps changing: 12 => 6 => 9.
[42%] She couldn’t make out the enemy units. either. ► It should be a comma.
[50%] 《Right,》agreed Al. ► Missing space after 》.
[55%] might have sent him spiralling into the ocean. ► It should be spiraling (US spelling).
[79%] 《All machines shot down,》Al announced. ► Missing space after 》.

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Volume 12 - Part 1:

[12%] “The ‘infinite sky’, eh?” Leonard thought a moment, ► Move the comma inside the single quotes.
[15%] his final words. You won’t try to see him? she thought. ► Should this be You won’t go to see him? instead since she's citing Leonard?
[17%] data suit she would use to connect directly to the TAROS. ► Chidori's POV. It should be TARTAROS?
[33%] I’m about to turn into a mountain of scrap. Plead with me ► It should be a turn it?
[41%] again with the now-bent gun, Al blared another warning, ► It should be a colon or a period. Or just remove the line break.

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Volume 12 - Part 2:

[11%] This wasn’t some kind of pre-destined battle. ► It should be predestined (no hyphen).

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Volume 12 - Part 3:

[1%] the elevator shaft right now?” he thought ► Not a dialogue but a thought. Remove the extra closing double quote.
[92%] The person I am now\, who he—who they ► Remove extra \.

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Volume 12 - Part 4:

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Volume 12 - Part 5:

[75%] what it did to me at that school.》Al apparently ► Missing space after 》.

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Volume 12 - Part 6:

[31%] “Don’t say that,” Clouseau muttered. “I’ll start crying,” ► It should be a period.