The Greatest Magicmaster's Retirement Plan - Corrections Topic
"[...], he was confident that his instantaneous speed could surpass that of Sajik's in normal circumstances and even rival Lettie's in speed."
@Jan-Suzukawa Just saw that the "that of Sajik's" is still in there so it's still a double-possessive (or however you would call it). Should be either 'that of Sajik' or just 'Sajik's'.
"?!" She'd thought the mission to conquer Vanalis was over... but sensing it wasn't [...]
All other sentences with '...' followed by a continuation of the sentence (uncapitalised word) don't have a space after the periods.
( "example...but" and "example... However") Not sure if this is on purpose but just wanted to mention it for consistency.
"It's only the second time I've used it at all."
This sounds weird imho. It might be correct but I think 'I've ever used it' would flow much better. I can't really find any examples with 'at all' that aren't questions ending with it or negative statements denying something.
@terabyte Thanks for the note. I've changed the single quote to a double quote.
@elleya I've made changes based on your first two notes. Yes, in our new JNC style guide, if it's a single sentence with an ellipsis in the middle of it, no space is used after the ellipsis, so good catch.
"It's only the second time I've used it at all." I think Alus is just emphasizing the fact that this is only the second time he's used the spell. It's informal, but in speech, when it's appropriate (considering the character), I tend to let casual phrasing stand. That goes even more so for teenage characters, as they usually speak more casually than adult characters. Thanks for your notes.
I just noticed that the series page for GMRP on Goodreads (Amazon's book metadata source) is a mess.
The English series title is not listed as an alternate title, the English and Japanese books have separate book entries (they should be different editions of the same book) and all of the English books after vol. 6 aren't marked as being in the series at all.
@iseguy I've referred your query to JNC staff.
Attached to the large collar was a lead
It's “leash” in America, which you went with in the previous paragraph. Are you using both because neither is very portable?
@iseguy I've changed all uses of "lead" to "leash." Thanks for your note.
Volume 11 - Part 2:
- [15%] he could detect up to
two meters. Once he detected a Fiend, ► That seems too small, they can see it themselves at 2 meters. I guess it should be two hundred meters or two kilometers?
- [15%] he could detect up to
@terabyte I think it might actually be two kilometers, not two meters. Warnis, could you please weigh in on this? Thanks.
@jan-suzukawa it is indeed mean to be to kilometers :)
Really, it was just a trivial story... but [...]
The space after the '...'
I've made changes based on your first two notes. Yes, in our new JNC style guide, if it's a single sentence with an ellipsis in the middle of it, no space is used after the ellipsis, so good catch.
Just curious but does this apply to all novels or is it a choice of the respective translators/editors as long as it's consistent?
@elleya I've deleted the extra space. Thanks for your note.
As to your question, as far as I know, the style guide rules apply to all novel series. Any exceptions have to be approved by JNC editorial staff.
"Who do you mean by 'him'?"
"I'm designating that new species as 'Siren.'"
"Is that...'him'?" Sisty asked.
Honestly not sure if there's a mistake here but seems slightly inconsistent. (the ' being before the '?'s but after the period)
Pointing it out just in case.
Volume 11 - Part 4:
- [20%] I will ask for details
alter. But ► It should be later.
- [43%] “Is that...
’him’?” Sisty asked. ► The starting single quote is a
- [20%] I will ask for details
@terabyte Have corrected both... :-) Thanks for your note.
@elleya Question marks are placed inside quotes unless the quoted part is not part of the question. Here, it is arguable whether the "him" is part of the question to the point that the ending quote needs to go on the other side of the question mark, so I'll leave it for the QA/proofreading stage for a second pair of eyes to look at it. Thanks for your note.
*To the point of approaching the Akashic Records even...*Alus thought to himself.
The cursive isn't showing but should be understandable
When I touched the stake, if the information I felt was more than just magic but also the key to the Fiends' very existence, then... Alus thought back [...]
Inconsistency with the space after the ... - I'd say the space should be there considering it's a thought but idk.
But Alus believed if they had a deeper understanding of Fiends that they might be able to interfere with their way of being.
I think a comma would make this easier to read and should make sense in the if-clause anyway.
[...]and if by chance it's something harmful you can just eliminate them,"
[...]and if the public ever found out about them trust in the military would plummet.
Could place commas here but I'd say these sentences also work without them? I know it's optional but just felt like mentioning it in case it was forgotten.
It was really hard to tell who was nobility as between those two and Alice.
Should that be there?
Very few if any students truly understood mana [...]
Would place commas around the if any as it is a parenthetical phrase.
@elleya Thanks for your notes. Sometimes italics are used to show the character's thoughts, and sometimes not. It's not an absolute rule either way.
The proofreaders generally make comma suggestions as needed in the proofing stages of the book. As to the sentence, "It was really hard to tell who was nobility as between those two and Alice," I believe having the "as" there is needed (try taking out the "as" - the sentence doesn't read as clearly that way). And as to your last point, I think the sentence works as is, but if the QA team thinks that commas would work better there, I'll be happy to let them change it.
@jan-suzukawa The first part was more about those two sentences almost having the same structure (thoughts in italics followed be 'Alus thought') but one has a space after the '...' while the other didn't.
It's just that the formatting here didn't let me put the italics that way.