Banner of the Stars - Corrections Topic

  • Staff

    This is the dedicated topic for posting suggested corrections for Banner of the Stars.

    Currently in prepublication: Volume 5!

  • Premium Member

    More suggestions than corrections.


    "Come," the Empress ordered -> Perhaps "Step forth" or "Come forth" might capture the nuance better. I'm assuming the empress said something along the lines of 来い or the like.
    "the operation writ" -> operational writ, or operation's writ

  • Premium Member

    Volume 5 Part 2

    13% - I'm find with the usual food -> I'm fine with the usual food

    I'm a bit ambivalent on the usage of Platoon for the Capital Defense Platoon, simply because platoon implies a very, very small and hierarchically low ranked unit organization. Considering the nature of the unit, might I suggest Capital Defense Corps, or if the intent is to imply a small, select group, Capital Defense Cadre.

  • Premium Member

    Volume 5 Part 3
    Jinto was about to asked what the imperial treasures - Jinto was about to ask what the imperial treasures

    The Watchguard Fleet comprised eight sub-fleets - Ordering is reversed here. Either, "The Watchguard Fleet was comprised of eight sub-fleets," or "Eight sub-fleets comprised the Watchguard Fleet"
    Each of the subfleets were - Each of the sub-fleets was

Log in to reply