Are You Okay With a Slightly Older Girlfriend? - Corrections Topic

myskaros

This is the dedicated topic for posting suggested corrections for Are You Okay With a Slightly Older Girlfriend?

Currently in prepublication: Volume 3!

SomeOldGuy

V1P1 53%:
were emphasised even more than before
emphasized for 'Merican English.

Zubonjin

@SomeOldGuy Thanks, fixed! I swapped in the zed, just like our founding fathers intended.

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 1:

[Generic] There are 8 instances of 4 consecutive periods instead of 3 periods.
[24%] were beautifully proportioned. . Her face had ► Remove extra period.
[26%] her pleated skirt, perfectly sized,, neither too ► Duplicate comma.
[40%] curious looks and voices.There were even some ► Missing space.
[51%] walking pace I heard, “Wa, wait! Please wait!” ► It should be Wa-wait (dash)?
[63%] shamed, you put yourself in harm’s way right? ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[72%] “Come on...don’t say that it’s embarrassing..” ► A couple of issues:
1. It should be 3 periods. (Or duplicate period?)
2. Hime keeps talking in the next paragraph/dialogue, remove the closing double quote here.
[76%] you talking about, what exactly have I betrayed? ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[79%] in high school, I actually want to get a girlfriend.” ► Kaoru keeps talking in the next paragraph/dialogue, remove the closing double quote here.
[79%] “...also, we never drank champagne, that was ► It should be Also (Capitalized)?
[90%] give me advice that’s too high-level, you know?.” ► Remove extra period.
[95%] forming that dumb “Virgins for Life Alliance”. ► Move the period inside the quotes.

===

Volume 1 - Part 2:

[Generic] There are 22 instances of 4 consecutive periods instead of 3 periods.
[6%] lunch box from the totebag she was carrying. ► It should be tote bag (space).
[21%] your last name means ‘peaches’, you’d think ► Move the comma inside the quotes.
[45%] guy does his best to ‘take action’, he’ll just ► Move the comma inside the quotes.
[57%] “...Let’s not go after all” ► Missing punctuation.
[69%] “...pfft” ► It should be Pfft. (Capitalized + punctuation).
[69%] “Hahaha” ► Missing punctuation.
[84%] I likely didn’t need the “probably”. But these ► Move the period inside the quotes.
[88%] to be able to call this raging feeling “love”. ► Move the period inside the quotes.
[97%] “I’m sorry... I’m so, sorry... s-sorry” ► Missing punctuation.

Zubonjin

@Terabyte Thanks, Terabyte! I appreciate your time. I've gone ahead and applied your corrections.

As far as the "4 consecutive periods" thing goes, those were representing an ellipsis along with a period to end a complete sentence, and it's actually the style I'm used to using. That said, I get the impression that people tend to prefer 3 dots for every instance of an ellipsis, so I've decided to go ahead and switch Parts 1 and 2 to the always-3-dots style, and I will maintain that style for future parts.

Terabyte

@Zubonjin Yeah, every other LN on this site basically uses 3 dots so seeing 4 just felt wrong somehow. Thanks for making the change. 👍

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 3:

[78%] “I get it... I get it, okay?. The one you ► Duplicate punctuation.
[84%] I became more of an adult then Nube. ► It should be than.
[84%] as you’d expect it was a huge shock. ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.

Zubonjin

@Terabyte Thank you!

pcj

Volume 1 - Part 4

[74%] “What are you saying...? I properly turned you down right? This conversation was over, wasn’t it? → the following paragraph is a different person speaking, so this is missing the ending quote.

Zubonjin

@pcj Thanks pcj!

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 4:

[3%] if it were a 15 year old girl and a 27 year old man in a ► It should be 15-year-old / 27-year-old (hyphens).
[5%] on and on like “I’m still young! Somebody marry me~” ► Double quotes inside double quotes. Use single quotes and add also the dialogue's closing double quote at the end: ‘I’m still young! Somebody marry me~’”
[8%] even a good one, just hurry up and come back to reality. ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[34%] to be a high school girl and deceiving a 15 year old boy. ► It should be 15-year-old (hyphens).
[35%] and relax” and took her son with him to his parents’ house. ► It should be their son?
[72%] the Mega Man in Smash Brothers is actually the original, ► It should be Smash Bros to keep it consistent.
~~[76%] you down right? This conversation was over, wasn’t it? ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.~~ Already reported.
[86%] I can do is this cheap castle,” he says apologetically ► Missing period.

Zubonjin

@Terabyte Thanks Terabyte!

jcochran

10% A 15-year-old and a 17-year-old dating definitely isn't normal.

I'm sure the lady would be flattered, but she's a 27-year-old, not a 17-year-old.

Zubonjin

@jcochran Thank you!

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 5:

[9%] on out is where it gets really tough, you know? ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[55%] lovey-dovey you are is out of the question. ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[63%] suddenly Ura, in a very small voice, murmured, ► Paragraph ends with a comma, merge the following dialogue?

Zubonjin

@Terabyte Thanks!

jcochran

36% "N-No, its fine... Actually, I'm sorry! I was heavy, wasn't I?!"
"N-No, it's fine... Actually, I'm sorry! I was heavy, wasn't I?!"

One of the duplicates ought to be deleted. I'd suggest keeping the second one since it's using "it's" instead of "its".

Zubonjin

@jcochran Thank you!

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 7:

[Generic] This part contains insert9.jpg and part 6 had insert7.jpg. There's a missing insert8.jpg somewhere.
[73%] happen to me earlier, so now we’re even. ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[74%] “Okay... do you want to look again? ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.

Zubonjin

@Terabyte Thank you! I've fixed the text for now, and the image should be included in the near future; I'll edit this post once that gets sorted out.

Edit: The image has now been added!