Tearmoon Empire - Corrections Topic


  • Staff

    This is the dedicated topic for posting suggested corrections for Tearmoon Empire.

    Currently in prepublication: Volume 4!


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    Volume 4 - Part 1:

    • [74%] “Esmeralda... Hey, Esmerada...” ► It should be Esmeralda.
    • [90%] to teach? Maybe if I ask really nicely... ► No dialogue here. Remove the closing double quote.
    • [94%] Mia, his wide eyes marvelling at the pair ► It should be marveling (US spelling).

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    Volume 4 - Part 2:

    • [36%] to it during the night.The next morning, having ► Missing space.
    • [89%] “‘S-Super Legend Rare’? R-Really.... Frankly, ► It should be 3 periods.

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    Volume 4 - Part 3:

    • [8%] Their bible and canon. A copt of The Book of Those ► It should be copy.
    • [84%] renewed sense of purpose and fulfilment washed ► It should be fulfillment (US spelling).

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    part 4, 46%

    In that case, I do believe I'll take them for a spin.

    This idiom strikes me as being more appropriate for wheeled vehicles than horses.


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    Volume 4 - Part 4:

    • [12%] handing over the coinpurse. “All right, here you go.” ► It should be coin purse (space).

  • Premium Member

    Part 5 near end

    beyond approach

    should be "reproach."


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    Volume 4 - Part 5:

    • [8%] that they be regularly worshipped. There’d been an ► It should be worshiped (US spelling).
    • [9%] The desire to be worshipped or deified was a powerful, ► It should be worshiped (US spelling).
    • [21%] three visits? Yes, I think that’ll do just fine....” ► It should be 3 periods.
    • [95%] she had to be faultless. Beyond approach. She had ► It should be reproach. Already reported.


  • Part 5
    [18%] Neither discipline remembered any remarkable ►disciple


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    Volume 4 - Part 6:

    • [3%] full bloom. He’d revelled in his bountiful ► It should be reveled (US spelling).
    • [7%] knew about royalty and thier ilk pointed ► It should be their.
    • [72%] let me think.... A-Are we assuming that ► It should be 3 periods.

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    Volume 4, Part 6

    34-36%

    Being a veteran surfer of figurative waves, she wasn't about to let this one go. In fact, she'd better hop on it before it changed its mind. She promptly explained her request.
    "My wish..." she said, promptly explaining her request. "Is to have you be the headmaster of the school I'm building."

    This is personal interpretation rather than strict correction (unless there actually wasn't meant to be repetition here at all lol), so feel free to take my thoughts with a grain of salt :^)

    Regarding the repetition in the bolded lines, maybe its intent is purposeful repetition (like the wiseman butting in on the narrator's line earlier this part, and probably a billion other examples of purposeful repetition), but here it comes across to me as... more a typo than anything. As though you forgot you wrote it just two sentences ago and ended up putting it a second time without realizing.

    I think it gives me that impression because of the wording of the first part. "She promptly explained her request" isn't a line that really requires repetition for emphasis, it's just a basic statement. Being told so twice doesn't give us any new information. In comparison, saying something like "She should really promptly explain her request" can be juxtaposed by repetition, because it moves from 'Mia should do this' to 'oh, Mia did exactly that!'


  • Translators

    @MasterLillyclaw Huh. Looks like something got messed up. Pretty sure that isn't intentional. Thanks for pointing it out!


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    Volume 4 - Part 7:

    • [7%] but feel a welling happiness at the acknowledgement. ► It should be acknowledgment (US spelling).
    • [39%] a renowned speciality of the Saint-Noel cafeteria. ► It should be specialty (US spelling).
    • [68%] Again, I have no doubt you’ll be fine, Mia, but... ► The double quotes (alone) are in italic format.

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    Several times in this part they mention "writing exams" and "writing an exam". At first I thought this was some type of exam but it sounds like it's not. Was a typo made somewhere? She's taking the exam, not writing (creating) the exam.

    Also "memory bin" sounds very British English.


  • Translators

    @mlindner So, myskaros and I actually had a quick watercooler chat about this, but apparently, "write an exam" is a phrase used only in Canada. It is neither common in the US nor the UK, which is really really weird, since Commonwealth English frequently follows the British in these cases. There's also some mention of South Africans saying "write an exam" as well.

    https://www.quora.com/Do-you-write-take-or-give-an-exam
    https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/to-write-a-test-instead-of-to-take-a-test.2789869/

    This is quite fascinating, since I was literally not aware of the phrase's regionality until today. "Write an exam" is something I both hear and say pretty regularly, though I certainly hear "take an exam" as well. The more you know...


  • Premium Member

    @DeiLight said in Tearmoon Empire - Corrections Topic:

    @mlindner So, myskaros and I actually had a quick watercooler chat about this, but apparently, "write an exam" is a phrase used only in Canada. It is neither common in the US nor the UK, which is really really weird, since Commonwealth English frequently follows the British in these cases. There's also some mention of South Africans saying "write an exam" as well.

    https://www.quora.com/Do-you-write-take-or-give-an-exam
    https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/to-write-a-test-instead-of-to-take-a-test.2789869/

    This is quite fascinating, since I was literally not aware of the phrase's regionality until today. "Write an exam" is something I both hear and say pretty regularly, though I certainly hear "take an exam" as well. The more you know...

    Strange. How would you describe a professor writing an exam? Is that also "write an exam"?

    Also I asked a few of my Canadian friends (grew up in Canada, now live in the US) and they all use the "take an exam" wording.

    Edit: Oh I found one that did use it, but used it interchangeably with "take an exam" and wasn't sure which was more uncommon. (One that didn't know it was from Toronto, the one that did was from Ottawa. Maybe it's a French thing.)

    Edit2: One more Canadian friend used "taking a quiz" and "writing an exam" felt most natural, so this person used both, but for different uses depending on the noun.


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    @mlindner said in Tearmoon Empire - Corrections Topic:

    Strange. How would you describe a professor writing an exam? Is that also "write an exam"?

    I'm from Canada, and would say "write an exam" to mean "take an exam". I would probably say "prepare an exam" or "create an exam" for what the professor does, although that could also be "write an exam". "Write" seems too strong a term sometimes for what the professor does, especially in cases where exam questions are recycled from previous years.


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    Volume 4 - Part 7:

    • [60%] And when the whole of the school learned of her performance... >> should be an elipsis instead of three periods (if you have your page width just right, it looks funky when it word wraps in the middle of the periods)

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