Girls Kingdom - Corrections Topic

lovelight

This is the dedicated topic for posting suggested corrections for Girls Kingdom.

Currently in prepublication: Volume 4!

MasterLillyclaw

Volume 2, Part 1

2%: “Thanks in large part to the Kononoe twins . . .” -> should be Kokonoe

Philip Reuben

@MasterLillyclaw said in Girls Kingdom - Corrections Topic:

Volume 2, Part 1

2%: “Thanks in large part to the Kononoe twins . . .” -> should be Kokonoe

Fixed, thank you!

Iseguy

Girls Kingdom Volume 2 Part 3

you should be able to get a good view of the whole place even if you’re sitting comfortable. — 63%

“comfortably.”
—

Typo:

“Wait!”Panicking, I grabbed Kirara — 85%

—
I hope there's somebody available to fact-check these cockney-isms?

UrchinStar47

Girls Kingdom Volume 2 Part 2

You like you're plotting some scheme. – 38%

Missing a "look".

Philip Reuben

@Iseguy said in Girls Kingdom - Corrections Topic:

Girls Kingdom Volume 2 Part 3

you should be able to get a good view of the whole place even if you’re sitting comfortable. — 63%

“comfortably.”
—

Typo:

“Wait!”Panicking, I grabbed Kirara — 85%

Fixed both of the above, thank you!

I hope there's somebody available to fact-check these cockney-isms?

See the volume thread for info on the changes we've just made related to this. To answer your specific point here though: I'm British, so there's no need to worry about authenticity (for the specific phrases, anyway - no one would really string them all together like that). There's also nothing especially cockney about any of Sarah's phrasing. It's all either fairly neutral, or kind of old-fashioned and upper-class sounding.

@UrchinStar47 said in Girls Kingdom - Corrections Topic:

Girls Kingdom Volume 2 Part 2

You like you're plotting some scheme. – 38%

Missing a "look".

Fixed, thank you!

MasterLillyclaw

Volume 1

Part 9, 15%

“Admittedly, I was an element of wanting to take Misaki everywhere and debut her in front of everyone.” -> should be there (or some other change so the sentence makes sense)

Iseguy

Volume 2 Part 7

the way you pour their tea, your posture, your elocution, et cetera, et cetera...

(Not a correction.) This isn't the common American spelling; but correct Latin seems appropriate in context.

Actually, maybe her dialogue should be all commonwealth spellings? That would be fun.
—

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have expected ~~her~~ someone of her caliber to strike up a conversation with me.

“expected someone of her caliber”.

Iseguy

Volume 2 Part 8

“Himeko! I mean, Lady Himeko!”

It seems odd that she isn't showing any improvement/character progression. This was something like “Himeko! …sama!”, right? Maybe she should catch herself sooner: “Him— Lady Himeko!” Especially since this is the last time she makes this mistake in this book.
—

Just don’t forget to show her the utmost respect.

Missing closing quote.

Iseguy

Volume 2 Part 10

You have called it anything else and no one would have batted an eyelid.

“You could have called it”

Philip Reuben

Thank you for these latest corrections! We'll make sure things are fixed in the final version.

@Iseguy said in Girls Kingdom - Corrections Topic:

“Himeko! I mean, Lady Himeko!”

It seems odd that she isn't showing any improvement/character progression. This was something like “Himeko! …sama!”, right? Maybe she should catch herself sooner: “Him— Lady Himeko!” Especially since this is the last time she makes this mistake in this book.

In Japanese it's "Himeko-saaan. Iya, Himeko-samaaa." So making her say the whole name and correct herself a bit more visibly is true to the source text.

Feel free to judge the book with that in mind 😂

pcj

Volume 3 - Part 1:

[10%] arranging my things ready for class >> should be things to get ready or things to make them ready or something along those lines.

Iseguy

Girls 3.3

apparently she appears soon as night falls—

“Appears as night falls” or “appears as soon as night falls.”

Quixzlizx

Volume 3 - Part 4

0% "She told me it was even possible they'd declare martial law" >> Not a typo, but based on context, "implement a curfew" might make more sense in a school setting. Especially since that's what ends up happening later on.

55% "That would depend on what she's ~~and~~ doing and why"

85% "With a tearful face, repeated" >> "With a tearful face, she repeated"

Iseguy

Kingdom 3.7

That means words along won’t bring

“alone”

Lily Garden

I think y'all got the illustrations in this part switched around

pcj

Volume 3 - Part 10:

[General] The API has this tagged as "Final". Was this the last part of the volume? Seemed like a weird place to end a volume if so.
[9%] Lady Kirara is planning to officially ask Lady Sakura to join the Sky Salon. >> should be Kagura from the context
~~[51% and 79%] Images are swapped.~~ (already reported)
[84%] It’s fantastic that you’ve got to know people. >> should be gotten

pcj

@lily-garden said in Girls Kingdom - Corrections Topic:

I think y'all got the illustrations in this part switched around

I see on Discord that they've fixed this.

Philip Reuben

@pcj @Iseguy @Quixzlizx Thanks for your text corrections! We've now fixed all these in the final version. A few specific notes:

@quixzlizx said in Girls Kingdom - Corrections Topic:

0% "She told me it was even possible they'd declare martial law" >> Not a typo, but based on context, "implement a curfew" might make more sense in a school setting. Especially since that's what ends up happening later on.

The Japanese is pretty clear in its phrasing here, but it's meant as a metaphor, so we've rephrased slightly to make that come across.

@pcj said in Girls Kingdom - Corrections Topic:

Volume 3 - Part 10:

[General] The API has this tagged as "Final". Was this the last part of the volume? Seemed like a weird place to end a volume if so.

Yep, that's the end of volume 3. I thought it was an odd place to end the book as well, but there is one more volume it turns out, so we can look forward to seeing where the story goes!

[84%] It’s fantastic that you’ve got to know people. >> should be gotten

Technically this was intentional (British character, British grammar construction), but since it stood out, the editor and I agreed that we'd change it after all.

pcj

Volume 4 - Part 1:

[34%] I had to a high enough standard >> should be to have a