The White Cat's Revenge as Plotted from the Dragon King's Lap - Corrections Topic

lovelight

This is the dedicated topic for posting suggested corrections for The White Cat's Revenge as Plotted from the Dragon King's Lap.

Currently in prepublication: Volume 4!

Iseguy

First!

White Cat Volume 4 Part 1

Ruri was set to go … via his suggestion

“per his suggestion”. She's going via the sky.
—

you sure about letting your oh so precious jewel go like this?

“oh-so-precious”, because it's a compound adjective.
—

Humans aren’t apt to it,

“Suited”, “accustomed”, or “amenable”, maybe? This usage of “apt” doesn't fit.
—

another member… was planning something…. Though, there’s a chance ~~that~~ our soldier became embroiled in it.

“Therefore,” or, even better, no conjunction at all.
—

but who knew what would happen if someone had ambushed them while they were still sick.

This rhetorical question probably needs a “?” question mark.
—

being the Beloved of the Nation of Beast King makes things a little, err...”

“The Nation of the Beast King”

That gets to be a mouthful after a while. Are you starting to wish you had called it “the Beast Kingdom” in volume 1?

Terabyte

Volume 4 - Part 2:

[24%] they give me much more free reign than the ► It should be rein.
[72%] “Unghhh, aaaaaargh....” ► It should be 3 periods.
[83%] the supreme-level spirit of the winds inhabiting ► It should be wind (singular)?

Mirage_GSM

65%: "The hot springs ... contributed to a large part of the ... tourism industry and became paramount to their existence." -> "...to its existence"

Drazirach

"unphased" should be "unfazed" at approx 19%

"laying down" should be "lying down" at approx 40%

"Yes, I would bet." sounds off. No one talks like that. Either stick with dignified speech like "Yes, I would imagine so." or go with more relaxed like "Yeah, I bet."
You could maybe go with "Yes, I bet you would." but the "Yes" part still doesn't really fit in with the rest of it.
This is at approx 43%

Instead of "apt at making them" I'd suggest "adept at making them" at approx 71%

At approx 74%, usually you would either say "golden eyes" or "gold-colored eyes".

Should be "less than a blink of an eye." at approx 75%. I'd also recommend "glancing back" over "peeking back".

At 78% "rife" usually has a negative connotation, not really associated with greenery unless you're talking about weeds. "lush" would probably be more fitting, or maybe "abounding in greenery"

At approx 92%, it should be "popped out at".

Well, thanks for the chapter. It looks like Ruri is going to have a frustrating time there.

myskaros

@Drazirach If you check the opening post, there is a separate topic if you want to post correction suggestions! Please keep this topic to discussion!

Rahul Balaggan

I moved it around.

Thank you for taking the time to post.

Iseguy

White Cat: Volume 4 Part 2

For the spirit religious Nation of the Beast King, Mt. Ulawoon was managed

I think it should be "spirit-religious" because it's a compound adjective, but IDK if it needs to be

TheGrimLich

V4 Part 3:
~~5%: "As soon as she washed her face with water from the pale" —> wrong homophone, should be "pail".

Mirage_GSM

Part 3
20%: "How does the temperature fair?" -> "fare"
(or "Is the temperature fair?" depending on the original line)

Terabyte

Volume 4 - Part 4:

[6%] I doubt any one will make the same stupid mistake again, ► It should be anyone (no space).

Terabyte

Volume 4 - Part 5:

[69%] from a nearby house.The soldiers raised ► Missing space.

Terabyte

Volume 4 - Part 6:

[18%] “So, does that mean these people died and ► The starting double quote (alone) is in italic format.
[33%] puttin’ these suckers into the cage,’’ Joshua ► The dialogue's closing double quote is wrongly a double single one.
[35%] “Aaah....” moaned one zombie. ► It should be 3 periods.

Terabyte

Volume 4 - Part 7:

[46%] dragonheart changes color.. And that scale ► Duplicate period.
[47%] “Wait, really?!” Ruri exclaimed. The scale ► The starting double quote (alone) is in italic format.
[58%] “Sure is, “Joshua explained. “I don’t know ► The dialogue's closing double quote is wrongly a starting one. Also, move the space after the quote.