The White Cat's Revenge as Plotted from the Dragon King's Lap - Corrections Topic


  • Staff

    This is the dedicated topic for posting suggested corrections for The White Cat's Revenge as Plotted from the Dragon King's Lap.

    Currently in prepublication: Volume 4!


  • Member

    First!

    White Cat Volume 4 Part 1

    Ruri was set to go … via his suggestion

    per his suggestion”. She's going via the sky.

    you sure about letting your oh so precious jewel go like this?

    “oh-so-precious”, because it's a compound adjective.

    Humans aren’t apt to it,

    “Suited”, “accustomed”, or “amenable”, maybe? This usage of “apt” doesn't fit.

    another member… was planning something…. Though, there’s a chance that our soldier became embroiled in it.

    “Therefore,” or, even better, no conjunction at all.

    but who knew what would happen if someone had ambushed them while they were still sick.

    This rhetorical question probably needs a “?” question mark.

    being the Beloved of the Nation of Beast King makes things a little, err...”

    “The Nation of the Beast King”

    That gets to be a mouthful after a while. Are you starting to wish you had called it “the Beast Kingdom” in volume 1?


  • Premium Member

    Volume 4 - Part 2:

    • [24%] they give me much more free reign than the ► It should be rein.
    • [72%] “Unghhh, aaaaaargh....” ► It should be 3 periods.
    • [83%] the supreme-level spirit of the winds inhabiting ► It should be wind (singular)?

  • Premium Member

    65%: "The hot springs ... contributed to a large part of the ... tourism industry and became paramount to their existence." -> "...to its existence"


  • Premium Member

    "unphased" should be "unfazed" at approx 19%

    "laying down" should be "lying down" at approx 40%

    "Yes, I would bet." sounds off. No one talks like that. Either stick with dignified speech like "Yes, I would imagine so." or go with more relaxed like "Yeah, I bet."
    You could maybe go with "Yes, I bet you would." but the "Yes" part still doesn't really fit in with the rest of it.
    This is at approx 43%

    Instead of "apt at making them" I'd suggest "adept at making them" at approx 71%

    At approx 74%, usually you would either say "golden eyes" or "gold-colored eyes".

    Should be "less than a blink of an eye." at approx 75%. I'd also recommend "glancing back" over "peeking back".

    At 78% "rife" usually has a negative connotation, not really associated with greenery unless you're talking about weeds. "lush" would probably be more fitting, or maybe "abounding in greenery"

    At approx 92%, it should be "popped out at".

    Well, thanks for the chapter. It looks like Ruri is going to have a frustrating time there.


  • Staff

    @Drazirach If you check the opening post, there is a separate topic if you want to post correction suggestions! Please keep this topic to discussion!


  • Staff

    I moved it around.

    Thank you for taking the time to post.


  • Member

    White Cat: Volume 4 Part 2

    For the spirit religious Nation of the Beast King, Mt. Ulawoon was managed

    I think it should be "spirit-religious" because it's a compound adjective, but IDK if it needs to be


  • Member

    V4 Part 3:
    ~~5%: "As soon as she washed her face with water from the pale" —> wrong homophone, should be "pail".


  • Premium Member

    Part 3
    20%: "How does the temperature fair?" -> "fare"
    (or "Is the temperature fair?" depending on the original line)


  • Premium Member

    Volume 4 - Part 4:

    • [6%] I doubt any one will make the same stupid mistake again, ► It should be anyone (no space).

  • Premium Member

    Volume 4 - Part 5:

    • [69%] from a nearby house.The soldiers raised ► Missing space.

  • Premium Member

    Volume 4 - Part 6:

    • [18%] So, does that mean these people died and ► The starting double quote (alone) is in italic format.
    • [33%] puttin’ these suckers into the cage,’’ Joshua ► The dialogue's closing double quote is wrongly a double single one.
    • [35%] “Aaah....” moaned one zombie. ► It should be 3 periods.

  • Premium Member

    Volume 4 - Part 7:

    • [46%] dragonheart changes color.. And that scale ► Duplicate period.
    • [47%] Wait, really?!” Ruri exclaimed. The scale ► The starting double quote (alone) is in italic format.
    • [58%] “Sure is, “Joshua explained. “I don’t know ► The dialogue's closing double quote is wrongly a starting one. Also, move the space after the quote.

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