I Shall Survive Using Potions! - Corrections Topic

lovelight

This is the dedicated topic for posting suggested corrections for I Shall Survive Using Potions!

Currently in prepublication: Volume 6!

Terabyte

Volume 6 - Part 1:

[4%] for emergencies and other important situations!” ” ► Duplicate closing double quote.
[20%] greatest threat, which is you, the first prince...” ► Remove you, (comma included). Kaoru's talking to Serge and not Brancott's first prince. (He's not even there?)
[26%] no intention of helping one side of a mortal war .” ► Remove space.

Terabyte

Volume 6 - Part 2:

[4%] they stopped hearing from him with him. It was ► Remove with him.
[22%] insert3.jpg ► This is either the wrong illustration or it's placed in the wrong spot.
[35%] dining hall in Brancott, were one in the same, ► It should be and.
[46%] Chapter 40: Final Moments ► It should be 44? The last chapter in part 1 was Chapter 43: The Battle Begins.
[51%] insert4.jpg ► This is either the wrong illustration or it's placed in the wrong spot.
[81%] insert5.jpg ► This is either the wrong illustration or it's placed in the wrong spot.

SomeOldGuy

V6 P3 25%:
but she knew that Kaoru had a special place in her heart for them Even now that she was dead
Missing period.

At 87%, Kaoru's narration says "just over a year", but it's been five years (Kaoru time) since she initially entered this world.

Terabyte

Volume 6 - Part 3:

[0%] her unbridled rage and hatred against the enemy . ► Remove extra space.
[83%] It was Reiko Kuon in her fifteen year old body, ► It should be fifteen-year-old (hyphens).
[83%] her body was that of a fifteen year old, it was ► It should be fifteen-year-old (hyphens).

piisfun

Then, the first prince and newly crowned king of Balmore negotiated a peace treaty with the Kingdom of Balmore,

Brancott

Terabyte

Volume 6 - Part 4:

[9%] “I thought I was gonna die... ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[10%] And when you die, you’re removed from your ► The dialogue's starting double quote is missing. (Or merge it with the previous paragraph; it's all Reiko talking.)
[63%] that Kaoru had been made out as some villain. ► It should be had not / hadn’t?
~~[69%] and newly crowned king of Balmore negotiated ► It should be Brancott.~~ Already reported.

pcj

Volume 6 - Part 4

[61%] If you wanted to research a country, picking their official history. >> should be pick

Terabyte

Volume 6 - Part 5:

[35%] these days we do have skilled staff , so we mix it ► Remove extra space.
[45%] About Fran saving the continent...,it wasn’t as if ► Replace the comma with a space

Terabyte

Volume 6 - Part 6:

[11%] the first Ed Silver once told me that if the Goddess ► It should be said or it implies Ed said it directly to him. (He's the twelfth generation so Ed's already dead at this point.) Also, you might want to check the next dialogue, too.
[59%] Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet!Tweet tweet tweet ► Missing space.

SomeOldGuy

V6P6 60%:
And so, we went off of the street and into a thicket where we couldn’t be spotted. We didn’t want to be caught illegally camping out in the open, especially not somewhere we could be seen from the street. If you’re gonna camp, you have to do it somewhere where you can’t be seen.

Street is usually used in a town or city; road fits the circumstance better.

I brought out chairs and a table, a cooking table, a simple furnace, a water tank, cookware, and some ingredients, then got straight to making dinner.

stove fits American usage better. We use furnaces to heat houses.

Later, she describes the "furnace" as being like a camping/cooking fire.

Terabyte

Volume 6 - Part 7:

[3%] that came from a far-away land. They might discuss ► It should be far away (space; which is also used later on) or faraway (no hyphen).
[62%] the realtor chased me away as soon as they saw us... ► It should be us?

pcj

Volume 6 - Part 8

[50%] No one dared denied their beliefs and branded it as heresy. >> should be: no one dared to deny their beliefs or brand it as heresy.

Terabyte

Volume 6 - Part 8:

[34%] came to an end. Do you all realize what this means? ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[53%] In other words, worshipping any other god was seen ► It should be worshiping (US spelling).
[48%] from Lady Celestine’s order that tries to give us flak... ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[54%] No one dared denied their beliefs and branded it as heresy. ► It should be dared to deny / brand them (their beliefs; plural) or denied / branded them?
[71%] the others said.“Achille and I have a child as well...” ► Missing space.
[83%] as the “three vows of the Silver Horse,” eventually ► Should this be Silver Breed like the story's title and previous instances?

SomeOldGuy

@Terabyte said in I Shall Survive Using Potions! - Corrections Topic:

[71%] the others said.“Achille and I have a child as well...” ► Missing space.

This line also should have a paragraph break, because of the change of speaker.

Iseguy

Volume 6 Part 8

Those little stories were a great epilogue. Made me cry.

No one dared denied their beliefs and branded it as heresy. — 50%

“No one dared deny their beliefs or brand it as heresy.”