Lazy Dungeon Master - Corrections Topic

SomeOldGuy

74%, more a nit than anything else..
compared to [Flame Cavern] family
[Flame Cavern] should be possessive, but adding 's would look awkward. Maybe to the [Flame Cavern] family would appease the pedantic among us?

Terabyte

Volume 15 - Part 1:

[Generic] The word colosseum is used 2 times, it should be changed to coliseum for consistency.
[19%] “Hmmm.... Oh, s-so you, me, and Keima could all... ► It should be 3 periods.
[54%] and began eating. Maidore watched, and... indeed, ► It should be Maiodore.
[82%] That boss being an Orihalchum Golem the size of a ► It should be Orichalcum.
[83%] thumb-sized Orihalcum Golem was hidden behind a ► It should be Orichalcum.
[88%] It was safe to say the Final Areas was like an entirely ► It should be Area (singular).
[90%] We had built this last resort of the past year in secret, ► ~~It should be in?~~ It should be over. (Suggested by @SomeOldGuy.)

SomeOldGuy

@terabyte or

last resort over the

Terabyte

@someoldguy said in Lazy Dungeon Master - Corrections Topic:

@terabyte or

last resort over the

Yeah, that works even better given the context. Updated my post. 😋

kittytama

@terabyte @SomeOldGuy Thanks for your additional corrections! Applied. :)

Iseguy

15.1

It was the canon path to the end.

The adjective is “canonical”.

kittytama

@iseguy Thank you, fixed!

morbelek

Volume 15, part 2:
For Soto's name, What word did they use for temporarily? Reading it as Sototemporarily seems so jarring. Because there is an explanation in the text of what Soto means, could something be added for the word used for temporarily as well?

"Soto means external, exceptional, and unnumbered in Japanese. [X word] means temporarily, provisionally, for now, etc." (just examples, I have no idea).
...
"Soto [X word], or Soto for short! It's so cute...I love it!" (or even [X word] Soto if its some Japanese thing)

Kind of like how don't call Keima's dakimakura "Meat". We call her Niku. And we get to learn over time what Niku (or in this case [X Word]) means.

samlh

Volume 15 - part 2:

[13%] So much so they naturally wrapped towels around their wastes without ... ► It should be waists.

CosmicSpear

Volume 15, Part 2:

53%: "since I felt the odd sensation of my shoulder being tapped about10 times," - Missing space.
63%: "I stuck my hand into {Storage." - Missing the closing brace.

Robert Rodriguez

Volume 15 - part 2:

[41%] After all, my country has mines and relies on imports ... ► The word no should be between the words has and mines.

kittytama

@samlh @CosmicSpear @Robert-Rodriguez Thank you for your corrections, these have been fixed! :)

Quof

@morbelek The point of the name is to be jarring. I could TL it as Karinisoto and it would be less jarring, for sure, but that would ruin the point and English readers would be unable to emphasize with what's going on. Sototemporarily is obviously not a name and obviously not what he intended, so it's funny, just like Karinisoto in Japanese is funny since it's obviously not a name and obviously not what he intended. But if I were to TL it as a Karinisoto, and explain what "karini" means, then well it would just look like a normal Japanese name while the reader doesn't actually understand or emphasize with the fuss. Because, indeed, the fuss is about it being jarring, and Karinisoto would not be jarring.

Note that with Niku he didn't even think of Niku as "meat" or something with less-good connotations, it was something somewhat unique to the world that had to be explained to him. Meanwhile the joke here is that a sentence fragment has been taken out of context and used as a name. There's no explanation needed or context to be taught.

Terabyte

Volume 15 - Part 2:

[Generic] The word Orichalcum is written 2 times as Orichalchum (extra h).
[Generic] The part's section markers ＊＊＊ aren't centered.
[7%] was to acquire Magic Blades;the best thing to do here ► Missing space.
[10%] “Prince, these are the magic blades,” the shadow said. ► It should be Magic Blades (Capitalized).
[25%] I went ahead and {Purified} myself, then went to— ► The skill's name is {Purification}. Remove the brackets/capitalizion? (Or change it to used {Purification} on?)
[34%] “Yup. As long as you {Purified} them, it’s no problem ► Same as the error above at 25% ^.
[43%] you’ll find enough prestige here to make a difference” ► Missing question mark.
[56%] Divine Blanket and Define Quilt, so those were safe ► It should be Divine Quilt.
[78%] “...Papa! Mama! HI, I’m your daughter!!!” ► Should this be Hi (lowercase i) or is it all uppercase on purpose?
[84%] Subject: Congratulations, Keima! It’s your first child!” ► The starting double quote is missing.

kittytama

@terabyte Thank you for your corrections! They should be fixed. (Getting the centering situated on the section breakers now, so don't mind the slight delay with that.)

Leotaris

Is it possible to change Sotos full name? I stumbeld over it really hard. In a fanmade translation of the webnovel they used Karinisoto. I don't know if this is right or what it means but I think this or the full japanese name suits the english market better. You thankfully didn't translate Nikus name either. ^^

Terabyte

@leotaris said in Lazy Dungeon Master - Corrections Topic:

Is it possible to change Sotos full name? I stumbeld over it really hard. In a fanmade translation of the webnovel they used Karinisoto. I don't know if this is right or what it means but I think this or the full japanese name suits the english market better. You thankfully didn't translate Nikus name either. ^^

The translator replied about that a couple of posts above:

@quof said in Lazy Dungeon Master - Corrections Topic:

@morbelek The point of the name is to be jarring. I could TL it as Karinisoto and it would be less jarring, for sure, but that would ruin the point and English readers would be unable to emphasize with what's going on. Sototemporarily is obviously not a name and obviously not what he intended, so it's funny, just like Karinisoto in Japanese is funny since it's obviously not a name and obviously not what he intended. But if I were to TL it as a Karinisoto, and explain what "karini" means, then well it would just look like a normal Japanese name while the reader doesn't actually understand or emphasize with the fuss. Because, indeed, the fuss is about it being jarring, and Karinisoto would not be jarring.

Note that with Niku he didn't even think of Niku as "meat" or something with less-good connotations, it was something somewhat unique to the world that had to be explained to him. Meanwhile the joke here is that a sentence fragment has been taken out of context and used as a name. There's no explanation needed or context to be taught.

Quof

It's honestly a pretty funny predicament, where the name is intended to be jarring and bad in the original text, but due to the fact it's a translation, something being jarring and bad is seen as like a flaw of the TL rather than an accurate representation of the original. It poses something of a moral problem for translators, even, since naturally I could TL it as "Karinisoto" and smooth this over such that there are no bumps in the road and the TL subsequently receives no such criticism, but doing so would be a less faithful TL. I think this it's pretty rare for things to end up like this tbh, often a TL is presented a situation where they want to risk being unfaithful for the greater good, but here I must risk being faithful for the greater good.

Also note x 2, if Keima had reacted to Niku's name like "holy shit what a weird name, she's literally called Meat? wtf" then I would've tl'd it as Meat. Instead he didn't even think of that that connotation and instead viewed it as an entirely normal name, just like we view Niku as a pretty normal name.

morbelek

@quof Your explanation makes sense and I'm fine with it, however for me the jarring aspect wasn't that the name included temporarily, but was Sototemporarily without the space. I just ran into that word salad and I literally stopped and could not parse the word until I thought about it and started breaking it up in my mind and was like, "oh it's Soto temporarily". The mission to be jarring was a success but it literally slammed me to a stop.

My family comes from SEA, so I get the long names, it's a good thing that LDM mostly patterns after medieval Western European naming schemes because if this was like SEA, Soto would really have a long name with possible dual naming or even double-barrelled naming. Like she would be Sototemporarily Goren-Labyrinthart. Thank god (Father, the creator god, Leona?) Rokuko and Keima didn't involve Haku or they would have to include a Laverio or a Lyon as well. Soto temporarily or even Soto-temporarily just seems easier to process in my mind, but also retains the weird/funny name aspect. Soto(-)temporarily Goren-Labyrinthart?

Quof

@morbelek I can see your point. The problem is that "Soto-temporarily" or "Soto Temporarily" or something would indicate that the speaker considers them two different words, when the idea here is they misunderstood a sentence fragment as one single word. The hyphen/space makes it easier to read, but also damages the sanctity of the misinterpretation, and kind of makes it into a "first and last name" situation. Easier to read, for sure, but not what's intended.

In a way though, I don't think this is too much of a problem, since "Soto" is used vastly more often, and having to pause to grasp Sototemporarily the first time it's used isn't too bad.