Reborn to Master the Blade: From Hero-King to Extraordinary Squire - Corrections Topic
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Vol. 1 Part 8 - 21%
"Did Cyrene’s innate trust in people unknowingly led an enemy to her side?"
led -> lead
Even so, the sentence is a little awkward. Maybe something like this would be better, "Did Cyrene's innate trust in people allow an enemy to catch her unawares?" -
Hello,
I have merged your correction post from your created topic into this established corrections topic for the Hero-King series.
Thank you for taking the time to point this out.
Just for reference, all opening posts for the volume discussion topics do have a link to the corrections topics.
Once again, thank you.
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Volume 1 - Part 10:
- [37%] ► The text is split into
2 paragraphs
, merge them.
“Moving it to an isolated area on a hostile border will let any magicite beasts it produces be our first line of defense,” Inglis said. “Fighting fire with fire. It still seems like a such a waste, though.” For Inglis, the idea of pitting two strong enemies against each other instead of having to—instead of getting to—fight either was a crushing blow, even if the strategy was sound.
- [98%] I can’t
want
to see how she mauls all the ► It should be wait.
- [37%] ► The text is split into
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Volume 01 - Part 1:
- [40%] "... To see how
those come
after me take up my mantle... " ► Add who OR whom
1. '"... To see how those who come after me take up my mantle... "'
2. '"... To see how those whom come after me take up my mantle... "'
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Volume 01 - Part 2:
- [0%] She decided to take the situation as a reminder
from Goddess
to stay focused. ► Add the
1. 'She decided to take the situation as a reminder from the Goddess to stay focused.' - [0%] Inglis promptly flushed red at the
suddention
attention focused on her. ► Should be sudden - [73%] "Yes, it's wonderful!" Serena
did
as well. ► Should be either said OR nodded
1. '"Yes, it's wonderful!" Serena said as well.'
2. '"Yes, it's wonderful!" Serena nodded as well.'
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Volume 01 - Part 3:
[14%] They had both made wishesAlready Mentionedmade
that night. ► Delete superfluous- [43%] Finally, she found him at the rear of the
haul
, engaged in lightchat
with a few others. ► Should be hall AND chatter OR conversation
1. 'Finally, she found him at the rear of the hall, engaged in light chatter with a few others.'
2. 'Finally, she found him at the rear of the hall, engaged in light conversation with a few others.'
3. 'Finally, she found him at the rear of the hall, engaged in a light chat with a few others.'
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Volume 01 - Part 4:
- [58%] destroying the
nearly
manicured line of trees, she was unharmed. ► Should be neatly
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Volume 01 - Part 5:
- [0%] "Yeah, totally! I'm sure she'll make an impression!"
Rafinha's gave
voice to the spreading excitement. ► Either remove the's
or add something between the two, cry for example
1. '"Yeah, totally! I'm sure she'll make an impression!" Rafinha gave voice to the spreading excitement.'
2. '"Yeah, totally! I'm sure she'll make an impression!" Rafinha's cry gave voice to the spreading excitement.'
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Volume 01 - Part 8:
[30%] Did Cyrene's innate trust in people unknowinglyAlready Mentionedled
an enemy to her side? ► Should be lead- [60%] Inglis
watched the
hieral menace moved without hesitation. ► Add as
1. 'Inglis watched as the hieral menace moved without hesitation.' [60%]Already MentionedThe Inglis
had tried over and over to replicate the process for herself. ► Either removeThe
OR make Then Inglis But it really should be more like From then Inglis
1. 'Then Inglis had tried over and over to replicate the process for herself.'
2. 'From then Inglis had tried over and over to replicate the process for herself.'- [70%] each of the complex flows of aether
than
made up a living thing. ► Should be that
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- [40%] "... To see how
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Volume 2 - Part 1:
- [45%] Miriela paused again before confirming. “
Two months for three
, then?” ► Inglis asked for A month for three people and Miriela said ok. Why it'stwo months
now? 🤨 - [93%] ► The sentence is wrongly
split into 2 paragraphs
, merge them.
But no sooner had the words left her mouth than the Flygear rocked wildly as the beast’s thrashing twisted the blade in her hands. “Ah! Ugh... It’s so heavy...”
- [45%] Miriela paused again before confirming. “
-
2.1
the Flygear rocked wildly
as the beast’s thrashing twisted
Errant carriage return.
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@terabyte said in Hero-King - Corrections Topic:
[45%] Miriela paused again before confirming. “Two months for three, then?” ► Inglis asked for A month for three people and Miriela said ok. Why it's two months now? 🤨
The original bid was for 3 months for one person, Inglis countered with a month for three people, and Miriela met her in the middle. I think Miriela went back up because she was impressed so she was giving her a bonus, rather than actually trying to negotiate at that point.
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@pcj I guess that's also an option, I didn't think of it. If that's the case, I think it should be made a bit more clear though.
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Volume 2 - Part 2:
- [0%] Chapter II: Inglis,
Age 15: Chiral Knights’ Academy (2)
► Chapter 1's title had a different format: Age 15—The Chiral Knights’ Academy (1) (dash instead of colon + missingThe
).
- [0%] Chapter II: Inglis,
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The image in part 3 ~78% seems to be missing, it is showing {img - smiling girl with ice sword}
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@Ellyonia The image's been fixed already. You can see it if you reload the part. 😉
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Volume 2 - Part 3:
- [47%] why don’t we talk to the principal about
it?
” ► Missing closing parenthesis)
. - [80%] “Hee hee
hee....
” The man followed Inglis ► It should be 3 periods.
- [47%] why don’t we talk to the principal about
-
@terabyte yep, it was fixed shortly after I posted this >__<
I really liked this parts image
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Volume 2 - Part 4:
- [14%] “I am. Did you already finish your extra Flygear
training?
► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing. - [92%] I can’t move, I’m gonna
diiieee....
” Lahti slumped to the ► It should be 3 periods.
- [14%] “I am. Did you already finish your extra Flygear
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Volume 2 - Part 5:
- [56%] following orders precisely! Our lives are not our
own!
► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing. - [64%] “Hee hee hee
heeeeeee....
” The white-haired guard ► It should be 3 periods.
- [56%] following orders precisely! Our lives are not our
-
V2, P4, 80%: “We should get out story straight” - our
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V2P6 62% – At this rate they probably wouldn't hold out wrong.
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-
2.6
Inglis knew if she allowed herself to fall back, it wouldn’t be impossible to make it through without being hit.
“would be impossible” or “wouldn't be possible”.
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Volume 2 - Part 7:
- [21%] “You could
tell?
► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing. - [39%] control of aether. It was
impossible
that he ► It should be possible.
- [21%] “You could
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2.7
two more Flygears arrived, replacing the presence of the one that just escaped.
Odd phrasing. Maybe “two more Flygears arrived in place of the one that just escaped.”