Min-Maxing My TRPG Build - Corrections Topic

myskaros

This is the dedicated topic for posting suggested corrections for Min-Maxing My TRPG Build in Another World.

Currently in prepublication: Volume 4 Canto I!

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 1:

[8%] perceiving myself as a five year old boy. A single ► It should be five-year-old (hyphens).
[25%] or twenty sides. One occasion hundred sided dice ► It should be On occasion.
[38%] “race of wise fools” or the “lottery race”, but ► Move the comma inside the quotes.
[57%] long, but the five year old deep in my heart was ► It should be five-year-old (hyphens).
[81%] in the end, I was still a five year old child. I could ► It should be five-year-old (hyphens).

MasterLillyclaw

Volume 1

Part 2, 61%: "The palpable motion in Her hair and the visible softness of her body were alluring enough [...]"

Part 2, 67%: "With the Mother Goddess and her sidereal attendants as witnesses [...]"

Based on the use of capitalization for deity pronouns earlier in this part when Erich was talking to the bishop, I think these should be capitalized as Her?

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 3:

[Generic] There'e 5 instances of worshipped / worshipper(s) / worshipping (UK spelling). The US spelling has a single P.
[8%] full of stories about heavenly judgement, after all. ► It should be judgment (US spelling).
[56%] life and blood of the imperial palace. The way ► It should be imperial speech.

Shiny

Volume 1 - Part 1:

These experiences formed memories—memories of a man named Fukemachi Saku. Should this be Fukamachi?
I would love to get at least one Scale IX, like IX: Divine Favor or IX: Divine. Two at level IX? I suspect that the the second Divine level is just an alternative name for Divine Favour that was left in as an internal note and so should be deleted. However, maybe it depends on the skill whether it is called Divine or Divine Favor, so maybe it is correct.

Will Holcomb

@shiny It depends on the skill in this particular case.

jcochran

Part 4, 43% Is it even possible to rob a man of his sword without so much as itching his fingertips?

Shouldn't "itching" be "scratching"?

Med1um

I imagine, "mr. Brother" is "nii-sama".

Well, regardless, "mr" together with a "member of your family" is definitely no go. Atleast make it "dear brother".

Shiroi Hane

V1, P5, 79%: "lifted her by the armpits to dislodge [her from] my neck" - sounds painful otherwise.

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 5:

[46%] in agony) effectively cancelled this gift out ► It should be canceled (US spelling).

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 6:

[32%] dodging, and counter attacking—both ► It should be counterattacking (no space) or counter-attacking (hyphen).
[34%] is important, but the a helmet’s shape is ► Remove either the or a.
[95%] That was proof of their acknowledgement. ► It should be acknowledgment (US spelling).

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 8:

[7%] how would I ever set foot into a forest or ruin ? ► Remove extra space.

Shiroi Hane

V1, P9, 64%: “without dampening its mpact”

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 9:

[40%] his tendons and reached bone when its course ► It should be the bone / his bone?
[63%] dampening its mpact, which was comparable to ► It should be impact.

MaxWyght

Hello.

First time doing something like this, and also unfortunately from mobile, so formatting might not be correct...

Please forgive any mistakes...

Part 3, 67%

~~I looked around a featurless plain lined with farm boys from around our canton.~~

~~Should be "plane"(area/expanse/field) rather than "plain"(simple/unadorned/average)~~

Disregard, I am dumb

saffire

@maxwyght said in Min-Maxing My TRPG Build - Corrections Topic:

I looked around a featurless plain lined with farm boys from around our canton.

Pretty sure plain is correct, as in a large flat grassland.

MaxWyght

@saffire said in Min-Maxing My TRPG Build - Corrections Topic:

Pretty sure plain is correct, as in a large flat grassland.

Well, now I feel dumb, but also not, because I double checked it and learned something new.

Microdynames

This post is deleted!

Terabyte

Volume 1 - Part 10:

[71%] felt the mattress shift. She'd been putting up ► It should be She’d (different ’ ).

MaxWyght

Gonna embarass myself again, but screw it.

V2 part 1:
56%: I said, causing the woman to sigh in exasperation, "Did my parents say the same thing?"

Wouldn't "didn't" work better in this context?
MC is confident with his statement, so the question is more of a rhetorical statement.