Volume 11, Part 6:[22%] "advice on how to deal with a kid who had never even met before." ► Should be who he had
Volume 11, Part 7:[25%] "Running on the familiar road to Maria's town" ► Would this work better as Riding, since they are in a carriage and the horses are the ones Running, not them
Volume 11, Part 8:[12%] "and a Light Magic wielder as that" ► Shouldn't this be at?
Volume 11, Part 10:[30%] "and Maria had made up with his dad." ► Should be her [35%] "I, Susanna Randall, known as Larna Smith . . . and helping out the family of my subordinate Dewey Percy with moving to a new home." ► Dewey isn't Larna's subordinate, though not really sure how to word it differently, maybe changing it to Cyrus' subordinate? (or would that be Cyrus's? I always forget)
-- I also feel like there should be commas around Dewey's name [38%] The image here should be moved earlier. Definitely before the Larna part starts, but probably just before the recap that Katarina and Maria give would work best, based off of the expressions in the image (so around 29% between "Judging from what I could hear, the boys were having fun at their table too." and "As I took a brief pause from eating, Mary asked me a question." seems most appropriate to me)