Turns out I never did finish reading Part 8, so time to fix that.
Petrification is a handy workaround for carrying living things in Storage. He should try and learn it.
...or just keep that eye in stasis in Storage and use that.
I’ve always considered Touya dense rather than stupid but... berries and melons are not vegetables.
That’s a heck of a flag raised there in the final sentence.
Author: “Zaubune was a really nasty guy wasn’t he?” - dude, you wrote him as a card carrying villain.
And I thought the saying was that idiots never caught colds?
44%: “its demonics eyes” - demonic?
46%: missing close quite after “I feel there’s something sad about that”
48%: “although petrification turned one into the stone” - seems like “turned one to stone” would scan better.
49%: is the “The Babylon” (rather than just Babylon as normal) intentional?
“on a whole” - on the whole?
54%: “it was a little hard to fell from behind” - tell.
66%: missing close quote after “more aggressive than the last”.
67%: “natrually”
“It smacked its head” - it was just decapitated so this confuses me.
69%: “[Recover]” - [Recovery]
71%: “lended” - lent or loaned?
“Provided they had the money, even our common folk could rent the place, [so] we had frequent team matches”
72%: “I decided to let myself in […] Sue invited me inside” - these two statements do not tally and the latter seems oddly phrased, although that may of course be a problem with the original text.
75%: “commertialization”.
83%: “my status as king” - I thought he was a grand duke? Come to think of it, wouldn’t that make Sue a (future) duchess rather than a queen on the last page? Further along that train of thought, wikipedia suggests his address should be a “Your Royal Highness” rather than “Your Majesty”.
90%: “haing”
91%: newline missing before “Baba?”
93%: “watching the games were free” - was?
