@Gamen I
I've watched that show and I didn't get it. Even if someone recognizes that name, those Japanese words will never mean anything to the reader. They're never defined in the show, which is probably why they're removed from the American title. Something about spirals? Living underground? Digging? Child labor? Do any of the themes of that show actually fit here, or is the literal meaning of those words the primary message, and the fact that they're a Japanese show title just added color?

Imagine if the translation were going the other direction, and we're translating “it was like Animal House” to Japanese. You could transliterate the movie name to katakana, sure. Is anybody gonna get it? No. If instead you translate it “like an out-of-control university circle from an American movie,” then everybody can imagine what that might look like. (Student housing building? Off-campus apartment? This might be a bad example.) The tiny minority that actually have seen that movie will recognize it from the description, and nothing is lost for anyone.

Thanks for attending my TED talk.

v7 p4

~85%

Barely concealing his contempt, Oscar left the vault, leaving behind a bewildered Marquis Musel and a furious Linus.

Elsewhere it is spelled Meusel.

V6P3

Marquess Nunvalle gets called Count in the first paragraph.

Er, if you go and die, this whole mess will have been totally pointless, I thought.

"I thought" should not be italic.

Or to be more precise, they would serve that role offensively while also acting as a defensive shield.

I think "could" works better than "would" here. "Would" implies they will be used offensively, where "could" implies it is an available option.

Volume 21. Part 7 (8%)

Sorry for mentioning this again. It should be Bibliotheque, not Bibliotique.

Volume 21. Part 7 (24%)

The song Azazel and Alshiera sing together is the same one Selphy sang in volume 19. That's why Marchosias recognized it ("Can you hear my song?"). I also read several Japanese fans talking about Azazel's song being the same one as Selphy's

Volume 21. Part 78%

Orobos calls that draconic arts > Orobas call that draconic arts.

Vol 12 P3 (42% - 7th line up from bottom of page)

alt text

Need to add missing "he" to improve English syntax.

v3p9 17% Loulette -> Roulette

In the Volume 16 Epilogue:

The J Novel translation is:

There was no sensuality in his touch, only the compassionate concern you might show a sick person. My life might be easier if you would get aggressive. If he tried something outrageous, then she could get angry at him, and the fury might drive Kokuyou from her mind.

Originally the Japanese was

壬氏が猫猫の背中を 撫でる。そこに情欲の 類はなく、ただ病人を心配するような優しさがあった。 （いっそ 嚙みついてくれたらいいのに） 理不尽な行動に対して怒りでもわけば、克用のことなど頭から薄れるかもしれない。

Currently, the translation for "いっそ 嚙みついてくれたらいいのに" has been rendered as:

"My life might be easier if you would get aggressive."

I believe this phrasing is unnecessarily vague and fails to capture the specific emotional nuance of the original Japanese text.

In the preceding lines, Jinshi is stroking Maomao’s back with a gentle, platonic care described as lacking any "lust" (情欲) and resembling how one treats a patient:

壬氏が猫猫の背中を 撫でる。そこに情欲の 類はなく、ただ病人を心配するような優しさがあった。

Maomao’s internal response "いっそ 嚙みついてくれたらいいのに" is a direct, sharp contrast to that gentleness. She is wishing for a physical "bite" specifically to trigger a sense of indignation or anger, which would help distract her from the distressing thoughts regarding the Kokuyo situation.

The choice of "get aggressive" introduces several issues:

Ambiguity: "Aggressive" can imply a wide range of behaviors, including physical violence, beating, or choking, which distorts the character's intent.

Loss of Specificity: The original Japanese is straightforward. Maomao isn't asking for general aggression; she is specifically thinking of a "bite" as a counterpoint to the soft stroking she is currently receiving.

I suggest a more faithful translation that retains the specific imagery of the original text. Something closer to:

"I almost wish he’d just bite me instead." "If only he would just go ahead and bite me."

These options maintain the author's intended contrast and preserve the internal logic of Maomao’s monologue without introducing the broader, more violent connotations of "aggression."

@Geezer-Weasalopes said in To Another World... with Land Mines! - Corrections Topic:

@Ingraman said in To Another World... with Land Mines! - Corrections Topic:

v13p10:

16% - “Techinally, we’d seen […] -> Misspelled: Technically

@Geezer-Weasalopes said in To Another World... with Land Mines! - Corrections Topic:

13.10:

we should focus on developing new booze that can't be made with rice or anything you'd find in the grog around Laffan.

Um, like what?!
They'd be focusing on stuff that could be made from local resources if possible!
And what the heck is this "grog around Laffan" stuff? "area around Laffan"? Grog is booze!

I’m reading that as “new booze that can’t be made with rice” and “new booze that can’t be made with anything that you’d find in the grog around Laffan” (ie, booze that can’t be made with what’s already used in the Laffan-area alcoholic beverages).

OK...
Then I'm seeing some punctuation/phrasing issues, as the concepts need separating/clarifying; I see your interpretation of what this should be going toward as valid, but the existing phrasing has problems leading to that.

I won’t argue against that. :)

Hmmm… “we should focus on developing new booze that can't be made with rice or anything else you'd find in the grog around Laffan.”

I don’t know if that helps much. :)

v2p11 57%

Even if it were a lie.I knew

needs a space after the full stop

V10P2, 18%: "Each one's face had groves in it" - grooves

Volume 6 - Part 5:

[~9%]

his gaze drifting slightly to somewhere behind the man Upon closer inspection,

Missing punctuation. Add a period after man, before Upon.

v14p4:

16% - Aruharu pounced then with near blinding speed, closing the distance between her in the blink of an eye. -> Doesn’t look right to me. :) “Between her” what? Her and him? Her and Klaus? I could see “closing the distance between them in the blink of an eye.” Or just “closing the distance to him in the blink of an eye.”

v1p12 33%

More than anything, though, was how she stopped and listened to me when I’d sid monsters were alive,

sid --> said

@kingpendragon said in Dahlia in Bloom - Corrections Topic:

V12, P11, around 8%:

“I believe so,” Ivan Ivano agreed.

Missing letter.

V12, P11, around 27%:

While everyone was ruminating, Ivan Ivano clapped his hands together.

Missing letter again.

He just lost a little weight. Well, if you consider 20% a little, that is.

V1 P1, 81%
"Anyway, speaking of family, Vanitas had two little sisters—twins, in fact. They both had opposite personalities..."
Very minor, but 'both' seems superfluous (can't have just one with an opposite personality, but the other doesn't)

P3, 4%
"If one were truly skilled, it was also possible to transform into animals, monsters, or inorganic matter—but only few could do that.
'but only few' ->
'but only a few'
or 'but only few'

71% “To that end, I’m ready to pay any price,” I declared. Then after a short pause, I said, “ Christina.”
Extra space in front of 'Christina'

P4, 15%
"Being slaves, I never shared a meal with them."
Stared at this a little, but I can no longer tell if this is currently fine as is or not. If not:
'I had never shared...'
or 'I never shared meals...'

50%
"Shuka was a woman who looked like in her early twenties"
Could just be phrasing I'm not used to, otherwise:
'who looked like she was in her early twenties'
or 'who looked to be in her early twenties'

P5, 92%
"Ms. Ashley was such a worrier. We [had] had this conversation multiple times already."

V6 P1 76% "It was only one story tall and about four square meters on each side, so "cabin" might have been" ->
"one story tall, square, and about four meters on each side," a page later the room is described as "about 15sq meters"

86% "didn't look much at first glance" -> like much

V3 P9 (63 % - 11th line down from top of page)

alt text

V5 P1 (89% - 8th line down from top of page)

alt text

Maybe its just me, but this sounds out of context. Claudia knew she couldn't stop Lutz from doing what he felt he had to, so I think this should read:
"she couldn't stop him"