V5P4 ~48%
[…] and what remained were slashed away […]
Should be was, or the remains.
~81%
[…] dark-haired and chestnut-colored hair boys […]
The construct feels inconsistent. Maybe something like "The dark-haired boy and the one with chestnut-colored hair"…
~86%
[…] shredding countless crystal ghosts into shreds […]
Shredding into shreds is duplicate.
~95%
[…] make it in time.Lilka could […]
Misses a space after the dot.