v3p14:

58% - That was why they wanted Emma to be consummated. -> Lots of boys and men are falling for Emma, but consummated is probably the wrong word here. Probably consecrated, as used earlier in the part. 69% - Same with “consummation” here?

V5P10
~0%

He had come all the way from the Sanuki province(modern day Kagawa Prefecture) to visit a certain individual.

Missing space?; province(modern->province (modern

~62%

“You’ve saved the village children. “I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

Extra "?; children. “I->children. I

v4p1:

50% - Worst-case scenario, I’d been fully prepared to use force, if necessary, to compel my father to let me travel to the West alone (a journey which may also necessitated the use of force) to “negotiate.” -> Wrong tense? Since the journey hasn’t happened yet, perhaps: (a journey which may also necessitate the use of force)

Accidentally posted this in the discussion of streaming. Reposting here as I finally found the corrections thread.

@fjordobordo said in D-Genesis Vol. 9 Discussion!:

Hey, so the annotation in the Vol 9, part 13 has this bit:
Itorphin: Ratel and Facile were talking about a (fictional) rumor that this mind control drug actually existed. No, they hadn’t actually read the manga it came from, Rusalka Will Not Return. Rest in peace, Satomi Mikuriya (author of said manga—she passed away at the end of 2022.).
But Anime News Network lists Satomi Mikuriya as male.
https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2022-12-16/manga-creator-satomi-mikuriya-passes-away-at-74/.193013
You may want to correct the gender - I know Japanese is often gender neutral and hard to translate because of that. Unless I am looking up the wrong Satomi Mikuriya. If so, my apologies!

Hi, this is a minor suggestion for the current part (part 8). I found this phrasing "...that the man who'd been chief of the Baron Ambassador Bureau of the Foreign Affairs Agency..." a bit confusing. I think it's because it's not immediately clear that Baron is the name of a country and there's a bit of cognitive disconnect trying to figure out why Baron is in the sentence. Perhaps it could be worth rephrasing the piece in italics to something like "...chief of the Ambassador Bureau to the country of Baron in the Foreign Affairs Agency..." Thanks!

V3P11

93% - I don't know what we would've done with you. -> I think this should be without

2.7:

Luentta

Lunetta

V4 P9 (89%)
...L'Arc tried to Sheryl up,...

-->L'Arc tried to cheer Sheryl up,...

v5 p6

~75%

The notion that fifty strigoi could be decimated without inflicting a single casualty had not even occurred to Kalinikos.

My impression is that "decimate" gets used when numbers are severely reduced -- but not completely eliminated. See e.g. here:

to reduce drastically especially in number

cholera decimated the population
Kamieniecki's return comes at a crucial time for a pitching staff that has been decimated by injuries.—Jason Diamos

But in this case all 50 strigoi were killed, so would "exterminated" be a better fit?

~90%

“Hugh!” Roma called out. He knew something was wrong with him.

=> Roman

V2 P4, 0%
"I sank so deeply into the matress"
Matress -> mattress

14%
"even the merchant Viscount Jeremy only someone over once a month"
Missing word, probably ...only [sent] someone over...

Actually, the sentence still reads oddly then (unless the Viscount is also a merchant). Perhaps it should be more like "even Viscount Jeremy only sent a merchant over once a month"? Or "even the merchant Viscount Jeremy sent over only visited once a month"?

14%
"Then I thought maybe the easiest way would be something like a rickshaw."
Possibly missing words. Perhaps "easiest way would be [to use] something like a rickshaw"

21%
"...I was probably the only person in existence who couldpractice magecraft and spellcraft at the same time..." (missing space)

45%
"...but in the course of doing that, we ended up relieving half of our father’s books from his study."
Not sure on this one. But to me either of the following reads better: relieving -> retrieving, or "but in the course of doing that, we ended up relieving father of half the books from his study."

V1 P8
(10%)
When I brought her home, we'd be having a serious discussion about it.

-->When I've brought her home,...

(The phrase "when I've brought" is a grammatically correct way to express having completed the action of bringing something. It uses the present perfect tense, which indicates that the action of bringing is finished, and its result is relevant to the present time. For example, "When I've brought the groceries, I'll start dinner" means that you will start dinner after you have finished bringing the groceries.)

(55%)
That fire in his gut weren't just about doing the right thing...

--> That fire in his gut wasn't just about

(The subject of this sentence {fire} is singular, but "weren't" is used for plural, e.g. "the fires...weren't just about doing...
"Wasn't" is used in the singular, e.g. "the fire... wasn't just about doing...)

(55%)
...if that undutiful noblewoman were left behind.

-->if that undutiful noblewoman was left behind.

(Same comments as above. "Noblewoman" is singular, so "was" should be used.
If "noblewomen" was used, then "were" would be correct.)
e.g. if that undutiful noblewoman was...
if those undutiful noblewomen were...

V1 P8 (82% - middle of page)

...hee disliked both fish and vegetables.

--> he disliked both fish and vegetables.

@Geezer-Weasalopes said in From Old Country Bumpkin to Master Swordsman - Corrections Topic:

7.12:

Though I'd stopped basing myself when it came to swordsmanship

Though I'd stopped bashing myself when it came to swordsmanship

Maybe?
I'm pretty sure "basing" isn't correct.

Or maybe debasing?

V8P6
~46%

And just like the Dark Mountain, there were rocky areas here and there were lots of mana herbs grew.

Wrong word?; were->where (or remove the grew?)

Volume 3 - Part 1:

[9%] While she boasted some slight success, though, things were not as easy as she hoped. >> "though" feels redundant with "while" here.

6.2:

I obviously wasn't going to as His Smiling Highness how he knew about that.

I obviously wasn't going to ask His Smiling Highness how he knew about that.

@A-James
Thanks for the reply!
[and idiot me for not having changed my "topic viewing status" for this topic after I started reading this series, which is why I hadn't seen your previous reply until the last correction I suggested.]

Having a style guide is a Good Thing.
And while some of the instances could have been "until" without formality issues, others very much required informal stuff, such as when his father was speaking in volume 1.
Flipping around based upon the circumstances would be an added layer of...rather not, yeah.

V3P5
[2%] The once-white paper was now covered in blank ink ➡ black