@Khazidhea said in Zilbagias the Demon Prince - Corrections Topic:

65%
"She had took a reprieve deeper in the fortress to replenish her magic using magic stones, and has now returned."
Took -> taken. And I think also 'has' to 'had' (but I'm less sure on that)

Got this as well.

V4P7 30%:

"Master, what would you like me to do next?"

Until this point, Rope was speaking with square brackets and Akira was speaking without them, but at this point that gets reversed. Akira's next line has the square brackets.

SSC1 P2 93%

"Mia grabbed Anne's head and led her away"

I hope she grabbed her hand instead... I can't be certain if it's really a mistake or not, but it seemed jarring enough in the scene to be worth reporting.

v1 p2

~43%

“He sent his boys to Lebera to look for a twentysomething named Dina. He thought that since his sister had been dumped into a canal that goes out to the sea, sent his underlings to Leberta to search for an orphaned twenty-ish year old girl named Dina, she might’ve washed up there... And annoyingly enough, that rumor spread to other families, or rather, the entire underworld itself.”

It is spelled Leberta every else. Also, the clause I italicized seems redundant, the paragraph makes more sense without it:

“He sent his boys to Leberta to look for a twentysomething named Dina. He thought that since his sister had been dumped into a canal that goes out to the sea, she might’ve washed up there... And annoyingly enough, that rumor spread to other families, or rather, the entire underworld itself.”

V5 P1 (% -

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Replace "spend" with "spent". It sounds better and lines up better with the two sentences following it, which are both in past tense.

V10 P4 (44% - 12th line up from bottom of page)

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Replace "use" with "us".

V8 P4 (5% - 4th line up from bottom of page)

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Replace "wait" with "weight".

v3 p5

~30%

After that, Dona took the at the forge, and the dwarves kept churning out new weapons.

Took the what? Maybe the lead?

v13p5 ~50%:

WIth these, we can salt our fish even more quickly than before!"

WIth -> With.

V15 P9 (32% - 10th line down from top of page)

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I believe this should say "until now". At least that makes more sense to me.

v13p1:

98% - […] anything we could buy or make ourselves were only capable of resorting only a sliver of mana. -> Typo (resorting), and possibly too many “only”s, of which I’d vote for getting rid of the first: anything we could buy or make ourselves were capable of restoring only a sliver of mana.

v16p5 ~0%:

There was also an attractive women somewhere in her thirties.

women -> woman

Please cut way, way back on the number of em dashes. Most of the parentheticals would be better off with commas instead of em dashes.

v9 p1

~17% Not a correction per se, more of a suggestion:

No cameras would be present, and all who had contributed were invited, regardless of status. This was especially relevant to those who were very behind the scenes. I was sure there were many people involved who I had just never met.

I'd suggest you use the more traditionally grammatically correct whom here. Nia speaks in quite a formal, educated voice when wearing her "noble" mask, as she seems to be doing here. Also "Whom" is used later in the chapter:

These were all things I’d felt in the process of my journey. I was certain that I had reached the top. I couldn’t remember with whom I had fought or what manner of fight we’d had.

V7 P4 (55% - Last line at bottom of page))

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Correct to "Lord Nazel" since all other references prior to this say "Lord Nazel",

Volume 1 - Part 3

[53%] “There’s no mistaking it. That’s the Lightning Spear Demon Kamikiri.
→ “There’s no mistaking it. That’s the Lightning Spear Demon Kamikiri.” [Missing ”] [54%] That’s why the enemy’s lighting magic is even more effective.
→ That’s why the enemy’s lightning magic is even more effective. [76%] I was probably still within the bomb blast’s range.
[Sounds odd to me. Maybe grenade’s blast range.]

33.2:

I'm sure what ahpenned must've left

I'm sure what happened must've left

Volume 2 Part 5
40% Dana -> Diana
57% could help but -> couldn't help but
79% union...n the future -> union... in the future
99% unimpressed he looked -> unimpressed she looked

the reference is to Kris.