@Khazidhea said in Zilbagias the Demon Prince - Corrections Topic:
None of these might need any changes, but adding these in just in case any might be of use:
V6 P13, 50%
"Bending and warping around him unlike ever before were the laws of nature. They way they bent so willing made Emergias feel as though it would take quite some time to get acclimated to the change"
I think that might be 'willing' -> 'willingly'
56%
"It seemed that Charlotte’s efforts were starting to finally bear fruit, the little baby chicks finally working their way out of their shells."
Repetition of 'finally', I think it works a little better without the first instance
71%
"but even dirt could make a mountain, or whatever"
If it's an existing saying I'm not familiar with it, but it just sounds like it should be 'even' -> 'enough'
V6 P14, 56%
"Claire could see strain started to take to Charlotte’s face."
I always get the exact wording for tenses mixed up. It might be possible that one of these fits better: 'started -> 'starting', or -> 'had started'
Thanks, these should now be fixed.