Trust mattered more than anything in a party. More than skill or experience. At least, that was true at Silver Rank and below. And I was destroyed that trust.
That sentence doesn't scan. Maybe it should be I had destroyed that trust ?
They say he’s always complaining that it’s more power than he needs it to be.
Maybe wrong word type / extra words? power->powerful (or more power than he needs it to be->more power than he needs)
~71%
Since the spear was only as big as what Akira could handle, it looked like a mere splinter embedded in oni’s massive body, capable of causing only slight discomfort.
Missing word? embedded in oni’s->embedded in the oni’s
He went on to inform me that there weren’t that many people in this world who could use magic—only about thirty percent of the population. Mages were a precious resource and bestowed with positions befitting their skills. There wasn’t such a surplus that any of them would willingly choose to be a personal tutor. I could ask one of the professors at the academy to tutor me privately after school, but I very much doubted any of them would want to waste their time on some F-rank like me.
Is thirty percent the translation correct? Because if 30% of the population are mages then they are pretty common. Maybe 3%? Or 30% of the nobility only?
V8.2 P16, 52%
"Akira was slowing his sense of time, but by a standard clock, their telepathic conversation took no longer than an instant."
I think 'so' might work better than 'but' here (the former being the reason for the latter).
Or alternatively "Akira wasn't slowing his sense of time, but by a standard clock, their telepathic conversation took no longer than an instant."
