Volume 3 Part 9
21% powerlessnessA dull thud -> powerlessness. A dull thud

Volume 2 Part 18
17% I know him, but we've never met. -> I know of him, but we've never met.
I believe this is probably the English version of what the author is trying to say.

Volume 4 Part 9
60% shrieked as shot -> shrieked as he shot
61% all had a similar aura to them, and they -> all had a similar aura, and they

18-2
21%: you need to be careful with how you yield it -> wield

@hornet65 oh sorry, they should be the same ranks. Should be earl

v2p9:

24% - sShe looked on the verge of tears -> Extra letter: She

v7p2 ~29%

[...] which will be impacted by the question of if imperial soldiers are with them or not.

"of if" sounds weird. Even though the whole sentence already starts with whether, I'd suggest to use

[...] which will in turn be impacted by the question whether imperial soldiers are with them or not.

~45%

[...] would put me on the same level as the Divinities their histories.

Likely missing an "of".

~71%

[...] barely contained by his oily was tough to look at.

His oily what? I am actually curious, as I could only imagine hair, which makes no sense.

~77%

[...] give off the vibes of someone's dirtbag landlord?

While it makes sense if you think long enough about it, just someone's would feel better, especially with "someone's" being used in the next sentence again

~90%

[...] the question of if [...]

I'd suggest whether again.

~100%

[...] that the Divinity were men among his concubines.

had instead of were? Or that there were men among the Divinities?

v2p8 ~88%:

Her hair was like obsidian, her face reminiscent of a polish jewel.

As much as I'm sure the Polish gem industry would appreciate the call-out, I assume it should be polished instead of polish (or at the very least, Polish) :P

V5P1 0% - "Is there any point to the formalities after we've known each other so long?" Claude pointed out. "We meet every day." - I think this should actually be Sumire speaking

V8.2 P9, 78%

What reasons could she possibly have to reject her help?
her -> his

V2 P9 (42% - 4th and 5th line down from top of page)

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Correct "our" to your.

10.2:

Ann told Sara. And I met Rod and the other

Ann told Sara. "And I met Rod and the other

v7p3, ~61%

[…] eventually they'd little choice but to interact.

As a non-native speaker, this contraction threw me off in parsing the sentence. I'd appreciate if it was changed to an explicit they had, as I tried to expand to a they would that was incomplete, and not there.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't remember me. […]

Feels like the wrong tense. I wouldn't have been surprised fits better as the phrase as it is projects an expectation into the future, but the guard already recognized here.

v2p10 ~13%

–that's it's all a game.

Should probably be that it's all a game.

v12p14 ~16%

"Farwell," Desperad said […]

Should be Farewell

v1p2 ~55%

"Wyn" is used as heading, but not styled as such

V11 P4 (78% - 4th line down from top of page)

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"I" appears to be missing and should be inserted in the annotated area:
i.e., But as I sank into self-deprecation,

(94% - last line on page)

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Replace "must" with "might" for better syntax.
e.g. I might just get swept along with the current again.

@Hylebos Even the punctuation in her story is wicked!