V1 P1, 4%
"...sparing him no measure of animosity, scorn, [or] loathing."
4%
"Though he was only a young boy, but a month past his tenth birthday..."
In the time it's taken me to type this up I've talked myself out of it, but originally I had thought it worked better without the comma after 'boy'. Leaving this in anyway, for someone with better grammar skills than I to assess.
11%
Blight was a general term for any form of calamity brought about by a poison known as miasma, which was born from the realm of death**[.]**
(missing fullstop)
V1 P2, 23%
"In his heart was a young beast that still remembered the abuse he’d endured by the hand adults, and it was baring its fangs snarling now."
'Hand' doesn't seem right, but I'm not thinking of what might be intended instead.
83%
"...but don’t you think it’s a good idea to thin out the monsters on Mount Myoukaku, just in case?"
I think it was 'Myokaku' in part 1 (78%). Haven't read ahead to know which is correct, but one might need changing. (Myokaku in part 3, so likely part 2 is the one that needs changing)
P3, 13%
"The soldiers hastily spit themselves into two groups with their shields and spears at the ready."
Spit -> split
54% "For a moment, he felt relief, thinking the danger had passed, but then the hog’s evil eyes fixed on Akira from within the ice. He couldn’t help but shirk back."
Shirk -> shrink
