V1P2 83% "Yet, she smiled at me with the same eyes I remembered from [his] childhood," -> my
90% "Every so often, he stops by for a routine inspection, [?] and then again." -> now? This sentence feels off, not sure how its supposed to be.
Simply releasing mana on its own didn't amount to much.Magic only became truly effective when refined, honed, and organized into a proper system—in other words, when it became a structured spell.
16% - Miliansha -> The names before and after are Miliasha, without the n.
65% - […] I was surprised to hear she’d approached goodhood so casually. -> Extra o, although maybe it’s the first one and not the second: godhood. Shirley is good, but a few sentences previously she was entering the realm of gods.
...and immediately lied down in bed...
if you want to use the word "lie" in this context, it should read: and had to immediately lie down in bed.. (lie down -verb)
The term "lied" means to speak falsely/untruthfully in English, so a better word to use is laid (past tense of lay).
e.g...and immediately laid down in bed...
v15p13
63% His claims are that the church executed him without cause and were so self-righteous as they took someone’s life. -> What? "were so self-righteous as they took someone’s life" is that supposed to mean something like "and did so while being so self-righteous about it?" Also not sure that should be "and were" instead of "and was"... "and they were/it was being so self-righteous when they took his life" or something?
“This contrast stands out because it benefits one party at the expense of the other. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had delegated the drafting to someone else as you tended to your many duties, but that contract seemed malicious.”
53% - That’s why we he had to go on our own. -> Probably should get rid of that: That’s why we had to go on our own.
56% - Which is why you two outta come with us. -> Typo, or just his way of speaking? outta perhaps should be oughtta. It looks like out to vs ought to. The outta at 64% works, because it’s out of.
V2 P9 87% "but I'd wait to [burn] that bridge until if I ever got to it." -> "cross" Also the phrasing "until if I ever got to it" doesn't match the idiom, but I have no idea if that's just the authors choice of wording.
Shocked by my comment, U clapped her hands to her cheeks in despair.
More a suggestion than a 'correction' here but since 'U' is the family name (even though it is known who is being talked about), since Sekiei and Oto are close enough, and since I think it is what is more done in this series, maybe changing so that it is the first name instead?; U->Oto
