Sorry I know prepub parts have already expired but just putting this here for completion's sake as I only just finished this volume.
V11P5
~0%

Can had left the guild after finishing the delivery paperwork in a private room and accepted a portion of the payment in gold coins,

Wrong tense?; accepted->accepting

~47%

The Tears of the Goddess, alongside my degraded potions from Balmore and nearby kingdoms, appeared in every religious book written over the past seventy-odd years; not as myth, but it actually existed.

Sorry if it is okay as it is, but when reading it feels a bit 'odd' and does not seem to follow from the bit before?; but it actually existed->but as something that actually existed

P6
~0%

Then, realization hit me. I could’ve used a stamina potion instead of Reiko’s potion.

Wrong word?; potion->magic as Reiko has magic not potions?

~40%

Suddenly, I noticed the Eyes leader giving me a look as if to say he’d never allowed that.

Wrong tense? allowed->allow

P7
~40%

“Thirteen!’

Wrong speech ending?; ’->"

P8
~27%

A two-seater with cloaking to go invisible or disguise as a rock, with some sort of shield to prevent tampering when parked, autopilot, perfect safety system, and comes to us when called.

Wrong word/missing word? and comes to us->and that comes to us (or and->that)

The first correction is for this topic to get moved to the corrections forum :P

Thanks for all of your posts, everyone! All of your corrections up to this point are in the series now.

V7 P11, 42%
"A normal motorbike would have dropped to the ground and crashed onto the desolate ground below"
Repetition. Perhaps instead:
"A normal motorbike would have dropped to the ground, crashing onto the desolate landscape below"
or
"A normal motorbike would have dropped and crashed onto the desolate ground below"

Also:
"A normal motorbike would have dropped to the ground and crashed onto the desolate ground below... The bike made a sharp turn in midair, tilting so far it almost touched the ground."

Trying to picture this. I don't think it's saying that he dropped height, and was nearly touching the ground. Perhaps instead he's tilting so far that, if he was on a normal bike (on a road), that he'd be touching the ground? If so, maybe:
"The bike made a sharp turn in midair, tilting so far it almost touched the invisible (force-field) road"
or
"The bike made a sharp turn in midair, tilting so far it was almost horizontal"

V6P4, 54%: "Hakugei no Tachhi"

Oops, hit post early by mistake

99%: "maybe she used a return item to warm back to the castle?" - warp

V2P5 70% - jumped up on ne. - ne->me

V1P2 4%:

I may be able to find a specialization

may -> might

31%:

the possibility that he may not be from this country

may -> might

33%:

Up until recently, I haven't had the time

haven't -> hadn't

42%:

That said, I've never seen him take one up on her offer

I've -> I'd

v4 p8

~47%

About one hour had passed since the start of our party when Aero, who already seemed pretty drunk, leaned against me and brought up something that had happened before the race.
“Say, Scuba. You saw that Farseer guy before the race, right?”

Unless Aero is drunk and mispronouncing her name, it's Scuna.

@Iseguy said in The Dorky NPC Mercenary Knows His Place - Corrections Topic:

4.8

“Handsome Schoolboy and Handsome Schoolgirl Escape with their Lives from Corrupt Tyrannical Teacher’s Trap!”

“Beautiful Schoolgirl”

Handsome used to be used for women as well as men, I can remember one of my grandmothers using it. See

Can you still call a woman "handsome"? The Britannica Dictionary.

According to those definitions, as someone who is apparently quite athletic (and tomboyish?), "Handsome" might apply to Scuna.

However, I've never heard the term used for women in 21st century American English, so probably "Beautiful" would be preferred?

v9 p3

~95%

Also, it would be completely meaningless if I went missing right after her. If she was in danger, it was best to save her, but joining her in defeat would be the worst possible outcome. If I could save Surena by throwing mine away, I would gladly do so. However, throwing my life away and gaining nothing in return was out of the question. I had to calmly make that distinction.

There's something a bit awkward here: the possessive pronoun "mine" is used prior to the possessive determiner "my (life)". I think it should be switched so that the determiner comes first, so either:

If I could save Surena by throwing my life away, I would gladly do so. However, throwing mine away and gaining nothing in return was out of the question. I had to calmly make that distinction.

Or

If I could save Surena's life by throwing mine away, I would gladly do so. However, throwing mine away and gaining nothing in return was out of the question. I had to calmly make that distinction.

V3 P10 (81% - 4th line up from bottom of page)
alt text

Should be:

...,Sora's ex-fiancee,...
-or- ...,his ex-fiancee,...

v1p9:

76% - Thank the lord. -> Missing capitalization? Given that it’s being said by the priest (especially), I’m presuming that it would be “Thank the Lord.”

v2p4:

99% - […] with Quinza’s group staring over. -> Typo: starting over. :)

Volume 8 - Part 6:

[0%]

got sent to an inescapableprison?

Add space.

13.8

“Full glad am I to see you young ones with so much energy. Very good, very good.”

“Gladful” is still a word, even if it doesn't rate being recognized by the spell checker.

“Joyful” also works if you want to stick with popular words, although it's slightly less apt for this meaning.

@Gaffary said in Goodbye, Overtime! - Corrections Topic:

v6p10:

40% - Lydia had learned that Mikhail was to summer in the Yulnova Duchy -> probably to spend the summer in or something like that

That one’s valid, but it might be more British than American english. I’ve encountered the phrase in the past, but I couldn’t tell you whether on TV or in print. Oxford English Dictionary says that “summer”, as a verb, means “spend the summer in a particular place.”

V1 P8 (50% - 2nd line up from bottom of page)

alt text

Change "he" to "we" to match beginning of sentence subject: "We".