V2P3, 65%: “that leads us [to] today”
P4, 87%: “However, that's not a problem if I get just the one tocome running.”
P9, 8%: “A present's not just something you just give them at that's it” - and

Can Two-Law Tyrant be changed to Two-Law Usurper? The story will explain why he's called an usurper. Plus, there will be another character that uses Tyrant, so this would help prevent confusion.

v2 p8

~10%

Then Raoul heard the rumors that Luke, who had been banished to the wasteland, had built an unbelievably city in a matter of months.

"Unbelievably" is an adverb not an adjective. Instead maybe that should be an unbelievable city or an unbelievable large city or an unbelievable X city where X is some other missing adjective.

v9p10:

12% - “[…] after I had done my business,” Cara replied, her tone perfectly even. -> Carla 45% - We had invited the head honcho of all three nations to proceed with the signing of the contract […] -> Typo? Poor phrasing? There isn’t one head for all three, but one for each: the head honchos of all three nations or perhaps the head honchos of the three nations.

v17p8 ~40%:

"Kiara. I'm sure we can't pry him for details about an important job HIs Grace put him to."

HIs -> His.

V7 P7 (33% - 7th line up from bottom of page)

alt text

Delete extra "sword".

V3P8 60%:

staring intently at Usa and I

I -> me
It's the object of a preposition.

V2 P2 (16% - 5th line down from top of page)

alt text

Just FYI from Merriam-Webster Dictionary online:
Sneaked is the original past tense form of sneak, but in the late 1800s, the alternative past tense form snuck began making its way into American English. It is now very common and is considered standard.

V10 P1 35% "heir to the [Wayne] family headship." -> Wynne

v19 p2

~18%

“Oh really?” Fiery plumes struck up a mad dance as a young woman with gorgeous, long scarlet hair and a practice sword for sparring Tina shot me a dirty look. Lydia Leinster, the Lady of the Sword, had been the albatross around my neck since our Royal Academy days.

Should that be for sparring with Tina?

V3 P7, 3%
“...Lady Robur’s grasp is very refined. I’ve come to understand that it’s beyond the comprehension of a commoner like me.”
It feels really odd for the Prince to refer to himself as a commoner. I'm presuming he's meaning only within context of the subject (an entry level understanding of the topic). Neophyte, or perhaps amateur, novice, layperson, or even hobbyist might be alternatives?

24%
"No doubt she wass lost in thought about what to write in the new art book."
Wass -> was

39%
"The prince’s bloodshot crimson eyes were fixed fixated on me"

50%
"The first prince seems to have returned quietly."
After saying he had left a few paragraphs back I initially thought this was saying that the prince was back already. However on rereading I suspecting it's instead intended to reinforce the previous paragraph. For clarity, perhaps replace with left/departed, or add on after returned 'to the castle'.

78%
Snapping back to reality, I frowned at the erotic painting the princess held. “How utterly... shameless,” I spat. I hoped she wasn’t about to start commenting on it in red pen.
Likely just me, but the meaning of this sentence escapes me entirely.

14.8

If she were found herself in a situation where she had to choose

v11.1 p16 ~38%

He had some blue blood in him, being the grandson of a noble's illegitimate child

Could this please be double checked, unless I'm mistaken Giesebrecht's father was married to his mother according to part 3 ~76%.

He fell for her after seeing her ephemeral beauty and immaculate grace on the dance floor, eventually whisking her away from her life in her troupe and marrying her. Every night he enjoyed watching her dance, and soon they were blessed with a child. However, as his wife was an immigrant, he couldn't simply raise his child under him.

The parts contradict each other.

~48%

Isolde

Erich and Margit's daughter's name was translated as Iseult back in volume 1, so ideally should be translated the same way here to maintain consistency.

V16 P8

"Forcing them to first live in destitute inspired ...

destitute -> destitution

V3P2 22% Rosmaria and Lyla, her father's wife and her own step sister -> should be half sister, as they have the same father.

@alahue this story definitely needs something like a tragedy tag to give people a heads up on what they're getting in to.
Many people don't enjoy being blind sided with

spoiler
At the same time, people who do love it and are specifically looking for these kinds of stories don't have any way to tell that this story will scratch their itch

V4 P10 (38% - 4th line up from bottom of page)

alt text

I believe "as" is missing and should be added:
...it took me half as long as them...

Note: "as long as" is a phrase of "long"

during the whole time that.
"they have been there as long as anyone can remember" provided that.
"as long as you fed him, he would be cooperative" - Oxford/Cambriage Dictionaries

Volume 1 - Part 9:

[62%]

Also, I've heard that he formed some of these those connections because he's trying to find someone.

It's probably just one of these words. those sounds best tho.

v9p9 ~30%:

WIth a guild so big, there was probably a lot of trouble that needed responding to, she figured.

WIth -> With.

V11, P12, around 68%:

Generally, the solid liquid insect repellents had a stronger, minty scent.

Wrong word.