Vol 5 P3 (13%)

she'd get out of dodge...
--> she'd get out of Dodge...
(This idiom refers to Dodge City, KS in the USA, so the "D" should be capitalized)

1.3:

vest to wear overtop it.

vest to wear over it.
vest to wear on top of it.

While overtop is a word, it's not the proper word. At least not based upon my cursory search results.
I'd go with "vest to wear over it" myself.

V3P4
~27%

“Then he embarrassed himself the party, so we’ve celebrated on our own from then on...”

Missing the word at between 'himself' and 'the'? -> embarrassed himself at the party

1.3:

give myprayer directly

give my prayer directly

been in Reas.I relaxed

been in Reas. I relaxed

world of Reas,I was

world of Reas, I was

quests in Reas,so I was

quests in Reas, so I was

playing Reas.I'd have

playing Reas. I'd have

I'm seeing a trend.
Reas[punctuation][missing space]

she 'had'to come with.

she 'had' to come with.

1.4:

Seems clean; yay!

v1p2:

28% - Anyway, fine!Time to change tactics! -> Missing space: fine! Time

v2p11:

14% - Normally, that would have been enough, but. -> Uh… Is a period really the right choice after “but”? Maybe an ellipsis, instead? Get rid of the “but” altogether, and put the ellipsis after “enough”? Or ignore my suggestions, but it feels like I’m reading through the story and hit the current “but.”, trip over it, and fall on my face. All due to the way that sentence ends. It’s a hurtful sentence. :p

v3p6:

38% - dancefloor -> I don’t think that’s a compound noun, and it should be two words: dance floor

I forget the percentages, but I’m wondering why the circonflexe/circumflex is allowed, but the cedille is not. I’ll try to ignore the regular usage of the accent aigu as a comparison, but the circonflexe is not nearly as common. Yeah, this is all about “coup de grâce” getting its diacritic mark and fakahd façade facade not getting what it deserves, too. The cedille has been used elsewhere here with JNC. Is there just no standard governing its usage, leaving it entirely up to each editor?

Thank you once more…

v1p9:

31% - He made their way toward them, […] -> Seems like the wrong possessive…: his

Volume 10 Part 11
85% she buried her face in her pillow. She stood still in that position for a while, but she eventually got up again.
Burying her face in her pillow is something one usually does while lying down, but it could be done standing. However, "she eventually got up again" reinforces that she was lying down. So I believe the line should read:
She stayed still in that position for a while, but she eventually got up again.

11.9

you could just barely tell itwas a staff.

“it was”

Your place, not mine, is by this mystery’s side.

“This mystery's place is by your side, not mine.”

The sea of change in Leila was a testament

“sea change”

From Shakespeare's Tempest. It means something like “sudden metamorphosis.”

Part 10, 14%:

"Hmpf! Color me surprised to see you siding with the rabble. You do know that you're just a guess in their class, I presume?"

guess should be guest.

V4p6
[64%] Floor Thirty-Two: Dillon’s Revenge! -> Looks like a chapter title but doesn't look like a chapter title.

@costmuffled

There's nothing grammatically wrong with it either way. However, “however” should go between two things that are different. One clause should seem to disprove the other. “He's a great guy, however, he's killed a lot of innocent schoolchildren.”

Regardless of the punctuation, that “however” is in the middle of what is functionally a list of very similar consequences that do nothing to negate each other. It doesn't belong there.

You can skip this, but what you've been experiencing is the natural effect of focus. At first, there was an error that caught your attention, so you weren't paying attention to the error that followed. Then, by playing with the sentence you made it novel, which to almost every brain is a good thing and makes you think you've made it better.

V13P6

She knew the Four Books and Five Classics" by heart

Closing quote with no opening quote.

15.2:

habitat yet.I'd have to walk

habitat yet. I'd have to walk

lol, it's the paragraph just before that mentioned by @MFDelta

8.9:

their feelings went before just mourning for the men lost.

their feelings went beyond just mourning for the men lost.

just somuch I had to remember

just so much I had to remember

v1p9:

76% - shouldn’t the kidnapping casetake priority over this -> Missing space: case take

v8 p2

~15% “Lord Acer, I would humbly request that you come with us to mee Zhang Shegong.” => meet?