@Valanduin said in Zilbagias the Demon Prince - Corrections Topic:

In the latest part the word jealous and words derived from it like jealousy is used in many places. Although it is very commonly misused (it is up there with literally), technically jealousy is when you don't want other people to have what belongs to you and envy is when you want something that belongs to you, envy would fit better in most of the places jealous appears. It wouldn't be a big deal if it was a one off because of how frequently jealous of misused, but when it is relating to the powers of the Devil of Envy being both inconsistent and incorrect with the terminology stands out a lot more.

While it is true that is one meaning of "jealous," Merriam-Webster's top definition for it also states it to mean, "hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage." Even stating that definition is equivalant to "envious." On the MW website, they also state that jealous can hold the same meaning as envious in the way "to describe someone who feels or shows a very strong desire for something that belongs to someone else."

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jealous

v7 p7

~ 20%

Not a correction so much as a formatting suggestion:

With that in mind, I opened the message.
Dear Brave Pekkle,
Let me start by apologizing. You must be confused, receiving a letter like this out of the blue. But from the moment I saw you on the battlefield, it was like lightning had seized my core stone. I think about you every day, and every night I lie awake thinking of you.
...
From,
Someone who thinks of you always.
“What’s this? A walkthrough? It’s addressed to Brave Pekkle.”

You might want to blockquote or otherwise indent the letter since it's supposed to be quoted text, e.g.:

With that in mind, I opened the message.

Dear Brave Pekkle,
Let me start by apologizing. You must be confused, receiving a letter like this out of the blue. But from the moment I saw you on the battlefield, it was like lightning had seized my core stone. I think about you every day, and every night I lie awake thinking of you.
...
From,
Someone who thinks of you always.

“What’s this? A walkthrough? It’s addressed to Brave Pekkle.”

V20 P2 (80%)

3rd line down from top of page:

...even my lady's fast stores of mana.

I believe this should read:

-->even my lady's vast stores of mana.

(This makes more sense and sounds better)

11th line up from bottom of page:

...clear the staircase in the underground hall by tomorrow at le thatest!

Correct to:

-->by tomorrow at the latest!

Thank you for the corrections to vol 7 posted thus far.

v3p10:

72% - The preparations have been made, holy savor -> Typo: savior

V6P16

~8%

"Besides, Dolton and Miranda may well already be on the move," Cere'zhula said.

Did she really call Dalton a dolt or is that a typo?

~35%

About once a month, her financé, crown prince Elvan, would come visit.

Fiancé. And should "crown prince" be capitalized?

V3P9, 61%: “let me eat thiいんs bastard”

v3p8:

6% - the town of Carassa -> Carcassa (as used a bit later in this part) 25% - […] where we’d encounter the last amount of monsters, […] -> the least amount of

I know I'm likely too late to suggest any edits for this volume, but just in case this could be of use:
V11.1 P6, 60%
"In a real battle, soldiers would use heavy spears—about seven meters long by Imperial standard"
Seven meters (23 feet, or about 4x a mans height) seems a little excessive.
If instead meaning to convert from 7', then perhaps two meters might be a little more manageable.

Also, V11.1 P12, 14%
"He moved with such quick and easy steps that you'd be forgiven for forgetting he wasn't wearing heavy armour"
Wasn't -> was

V7P3 ~13%
"Caim turned his way with a smile." -> "Caim Lenka turned his way with a smile."

v5p8:

31% - How had they managed to cause so much chaos in the few months I’d be gone? -> Probable wrong word, given the tense: […] in the few months I’d been gone?

V2 P3 (66% - 10th line down from top of page)

..., she intendedbe kind to him.

add space and "to" for better syntax:

---> she intended to be kind to him.

V9 P1 24% - two adorable smiles began bouncing around - smiles should be slimes

V2P8
though she sometimes said some words that were too difficult for me to grasp, such as, "I wonder how I can get some good old fan service to happen. Maybe Prince Raph would be happy if he got a good glimpse of my panties?"

I think you should probably reword the whole sentence around the word "pantsushot".
Like "Maybe Prince Ralph would be glad if I gave him a pantsushot from time to time?"

Part 8, at 69%, pretty sure the wrong name was used. All 4 of them are supposed to have attacked, yet Franz's name is used twice. I think the first one, where Franz ised magic, as supposed to be Connie instead, as Franz was running with a sword at the time.

V14P8 91%: All six types of ogres - Red Ogre, Blue Ogre, Yellow Ogre, White Ogre, Yellow Ogre, and Black Ogre : Yellow Ogre is listed twice instead of some other colour.

V5 P9
(9% - 9th line down from top of page)

alt text

Add missing "she" to sentence

(91% - 11th line down from top of page)

alt text

"First and foremost" - most importantly; more than anything else.
e.g. "I'm first and foremost a writer"

v4p7:

64% - Even in death, he had been robbed his dignity. -> Probable missing word: he had been robbed of his dignity. I think that some versions of english (British? Another American dialect? Other?) sometimes don't use “of”, but it probably should be there in this case.

@Jojajones We're witnessing the cannonization of a pun. Seen it used in another book title already. A bit blunt if you ask me, but to each generation their sense.

Volume 7 - Part 11:

[74%] I only tagged alone this time >> should be along

Volume 7 - Part 12:

[95%] on the head.She looked >> needs a space