V3 P12 0%
"That was undoubtedly the magic fool activating his powers"
Odd phrasing. 'Foolish mage' is the easiest substitution, or something along the lines of 'the magically adept fool' (or better yet, 'the fool activating his magical powers')
Same for "Stepping ahead of that magic fool"
Edit: used a few times this chapter (31%, 34%, 38%, 41%), as a sort of title. Perhaps 'magic obsessed fool' might fit best.
3%
"An appraisal spell revealed holy magic that radiated inward from it"
Radiate is usually (but not always) paired with outward - would that be intended instead? Otherwise the picture is of any holy magic in the area being drawn to the robe.
10%
"Could that be Casquette, the sacred beast that Lady Robur had a pact with?!"
From the preceding paragraphs, it sounds like the king only knew of the pact with Vamillia. If so, the sentence might instead go something like:
"Could she be referring to Casquette? Had Lady Robur made a pact with another Sacred Beast?!"
(Or perhaps a mistake of referring to the wrong character. Instead "Could that be Casquette, the sacred beast that Princess Beljeanne had a pact with?!"
16%
"...collapsed in the pool of pitch-black blood. s if possessed of its own will..."
s -> As
19%
"Though holy in nature, this flame carried a distinct, purifying power."
Though might be deleted - holy & purifying surely would be complementary, rather than competing in nature.
21%
"...and Lady Robur’s grandmother had passed away, never again permitted to have anything to do with House Robur."
'Permission' is unlikely to be a factor for a deceased person. Perhaps reordering the sentence:
"The sister’s anger had never subsided, and Lady Robur’s grandmother was never again permitted to have anything to do with House Robur, until the day she passed away."
22%
"Lady Robur placed the skill and magic stone carelessly on her crossed legs"
Skill -> skull
32%
"Not only had he abruptly summoned the king, but he’d given me orders on a scrap of paper?!"
'The king' sounds like he's referring to someone else. 'his king' might be the easiest fix.
76%
"After all, the princess [had] the magical power and talent, as well as the knowledge to do it."
Missing word