V12 P7, 47%
"She remembered feeling deeply guilty about [it] when she saw him do so..."
This might be unnecessary, but 69%:
"It was often too late to treat it once one knew what was happening, and it was said that even the temple was successful in fully curing the ailment [only] a handful of times.'
P8, 12%
"However, when she did lose her temper, she would grasp him by both shoulders, look him close in the eye, and lectured him until they reached a mutual understanding."
I think tenses change during this sentence, so (if I haven't made a hash of it) 'lectured' -> 'lecture'
40%
"If Yusef was the man she loved, why did he name her child a name that was linked to him?"
He -> she
P9, 67%
“Now, pick up your glass. Salt from Išrana, green lemon from Ehrlichia, alcohol from Esterland, and drank here in Ordine—that’s the Four Nation Alliance!”
I think I'm likely incorrect on this one, but drank -> drunk
75%
"They were dripping with grease and a little too charred, but she copied the other three men and took a bite of one."
And this is very persnickety of me, 'other three men' to either 'others' or to 'three men'