Volume 1, Part 9
[42%] And that tenant only held truer ➡ tenet

[44%] Toll's, alone, had remained stagnant. ➡ Maybe unchanged or impressive

I agree with xdbx that fission should be changed to fusion.

Also: "H2" and "H3": These should be written as <superscript 2><Capital H> and <superscript 3><Capital H>. Alternatively, you can just use words "deuterium" and "tritium". (Or just "D" and "T", but while technically correct this would be confusing due to lack of context.)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deuterium

V5 P6, 41%
"Sark was also talking to Hikari about all kinds of things, but she didn’t seem l particularly responsive."
Erroneous 'I' to remove

V4 P4 (27%- 3rd line up from bottom of page)

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Assuming "what's" is the abbreviation of "what is", then "the" or "that" needs to be added to the sentence:

e.g. - what's the talisman... -or- what's that talisman...

v2p4 ~46%: inasmuch -> in as much

V09P08

"Teto will escort you tonight, Lady Witch! **Teto was she had to say so. **"

I have no idea what that's saying, even trying to keep in mind Teto's childish language. Maybe I'm missing something though.

Volume 7, Part 5
[83%] because the essence of sorcery lies in the conscience. ➡ consciousness, I think, based on the explanation that follows that statement.

[85%] That's [why] an exorcist's talismans are ➡ add why between That's and an.

V16 P7 0%

But for that, they needed the king of Ganudos as he would if Mia weren't in Ganudos. -> I think there's a fragment missing there? Something along the lines of 'Ganudos to act as' would make the sentence read better.

a1v6p8 ~25%

"While I doubt they'd hesitate to dispatch a vicious, cruel, and evil swordsman—someone like you, for example—they'd surely feel guilty about using forge against civilians."

forge -> force.

V3 P5, 0%
"Orthat was what I'd believed long ago..."
Missing space
4%
"Seeing the illustrator featured in a recent new release I’d bought made me harbour ambitions that someday, my novel might be illustrated too."
I think I just looked at this too long and am now viewing it wrongly - but the comma is now seeming misplaced. I've convinced myself that either removing it, or instead adding another one like so '...that**,** someday**,** my...' would work better

17%
"Whatever it was seemed to flinch from the attack and retreat. A basilisk? Not a basilisk?
I'm not quite getting the repeated use of 'basilisk' here.

26%
"Where Heinz had been standing, a white rabbit with a single horn on its head charged in. Even I was capable of recognizing a unicony."
Unicony is a term I'm not familiar with. If it's not meant to be a name unique to the series, 'Almiraj' might be a fitting alternative?

35%
"“Does the prince know this woman?” Mihail asked. “Is she an acquaintance of my sister?” “Ah...well, sort of?” Heinz replied evasively.
Seems just as odd to me as previously to refer to Heinz as a prince. I'll make just this one more note of it, then stop commenting on it.

64%
"My feelings for Mira hadn't been love. But [after] so long together"

70%
"...would save me, as his subject. [I] believed he’d never abandon me..."

Volume 4 Part 8
08% She just came up did that name, didn't she? -> She just came up with that name, didn't she?
09% turn on a new leaf -> turn over a new leaf

v4 p2

~10%

I screwed the cap onto the hot water bottle. “It fits! Now I just have to see if it sealsf.”

=> seals

Vol.9 pt.10 Around 23% "fastly" appears. Fastly is not a word. You can use either fast or quickly in its place.

Volume 12 Part 10
22% more comfortable your spear -> more comfortable with your spear
34% differen -> different
37% this it's a new product -> either 'this is a new product' or 'that it's a new product'
38% when we head out of the dungeon
This doesn't make sense. Maybe they meant to say 'when we head deeper into the dungeon'?

39% bu please -> but please
41% gave me a sharp and scooted -> gave me a sharp look and scooted
42% bathrub -> bathtub
43% Estelle and cast -> Estelle had cast

V2P3

there were many monsters in many dense places.

should I think be

there were many monsters in mana dense places.

V9 P8 (0% - 12th line down from top of page)

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This part of the sentence sounds incomplete in relation to the rest of the comments. I believe the following makes better English syntex:

"She'd only known Liam to be clothed in his knight's uniform or the fancy garb you wore to a party,..."

V3P3 ~36%
"...the crowned prince hit us with a curveball." -> "...the crowned crown prince hit us with a curveball."
(I'm not sure about capitalization for 'crown prince')

V12P3 ~26%
"...the big baar that had her brought her husband to the outskirts of Iluk..." - > "...the big baar that had her brought her husband to the outskirts of Iluk..."