Did an unedited script got in a final ebook by any chance? Some parts of it were nigh unreadable.
I would have probably enjoyed this volume a lot more if I wasn't forced to reread paragraphs for a few times in order to guess (not understand, guess) wtf was happening there.
@dry-eyes No, that's what Terabyte means. Dialogue from Kaoru continues, so previous paragraphs shouldn't end with a closing quote to signify that. If you closed the quote you would expect the speaker to change, and this isn't the case.
@harunachiep said in Otherside Picnic Vol. 3 Discussion!:
28% - “Did I have that scary a look on my face?” (maybe remove the 'a')
This one is fine. Removing the "a" changes the context completely.
"Did I have that scary (of) a look on my face?" - Was the expression on my face scary?
"Did I have that scary look on my face?" - There is a previously mentioned "scary look" that I sometimes get, did that happen again?
That was definitely some super heavy plot armor. The new waifu (He's got three, so it's officially a harem.) seems to also be a guardian bearer, or did I read that wrong?
Volume 2 is going to be even bloodier, I suspect.
I didn't like Maydeen at first, but I came to respect him when he chose the female prisoners' safety over his own. What a way for him to go.
I liked this paragraph: "Jint gazed at the leader of the Central Zone with pity in his eyes. While Anguson was even worse, Dohkfoo was clearly lacking in knowledge about the Abh. To think he would choose issuing threats to the Empire over the more sensible option: dying here and now."
"But half of every Abh doesn't have a mother..."
--"half of the Abhs don't"
Inadvertently, a self-assured smile crept on Jint's face,
--I feel like "onto" or "over" would sound better here
Picked up a print copy at a local independent bookstore in my town which I ordered online. Dropped by first thing in the morning so nobody was in the store so had a time to chat with the store owner.
This is the store I used to go for midnight sale of Harry Potter, where hundreds of people lined up in the parking lot to buy the latest edition as early as possible.
He looked at the book and said it looks interesting so I gave him my elevator pitch on the Bookworm. It was pretty fun to talk about this book to the bookstore owner, who, obviously loves book. He said he would check it out with his friend who is more versed in the genre, and stock it up if it seems promising.
It was an easy read and at the end it felt lacking. I had hoped it would finish the public service sup plot this volume but it seems like it will be dragged into the next one. If the second book is just as easy of a read I'll continue but this is definitely not one of my favorites.
At 8% of Part 7/Chapter 3, you're still alternating between Tiffes and Majic in the narration and dialogue with Claiomh. Majic currently isn't with Claiomh in this Part and has been accompanying Orphen and Leticia throughout the third chapter.
At 85% of Part 7, the line "Krylancelo has no self-control these days, huh.." should be italicized since it's written as Leticia's thoughts.
In Part 5 at 71%, There's a line in Forte's dialogue that doesn't make sense. He states to Orphen that "Yes. I'm Wall Kahlen of the Wall Kahlen classes now, I'm sure you haven't forgotten that." I don't know if this was meant as sarcasm on his part or if this is a botched line. Shouldn't it be: "Yes. It's Wall Kahlen of the Wall Kahlen classes now."?