@Travis-Butler said in The Apothecary Diaries Vol. 15 Discussion!:
I'd put more stock in these things if it weren't for countervailing scenes like the extended conversation between Maomao and Ah-Duo in LN 13, where her situation and Maomao's are strongly paralleled:
I read this scene as further supporting what I said. They are paralleled, but it is the opposite for Maomao, that is the point of showcasing Ah Duo's view. If she had been offered the chance to escape, she would have taken it in a heartbeat. Maomao is offered that chance that Ah Duo always wished she had, and yet Maomao turns her down. I can't see this out of "duty" at all... All the other examples I gave are leading to this moment, where Maomao is fully committed to being with Jinshi despite the downsides of his status. Ah Duo was never fully committed to being with the Emperor.
@Travis-Butler said in The Apothecary Diaries Vol. 15 Discussion!:
Now Maomao looked at Ah-Duo. “Lady Ah-Duo. I couldn’t care less about Miss Chue’s mission [to make Jinshi happy], but it was because she accepted it that I’m in the position I am now.”
I've talked to a lot of Japanese readers, who agreed this line was not made clear enough. The meaning of this line should be "I don't care about what mission Miss Chue has, but I understand everything you've said, which is why I am in my current position." She isn't blaming Chue's mission or saying this is the cause for her being with Jinshi. She is saying she understands what Ah Duo is saying and has gone through, but chooses to be in this position with Jinshi anyway.
“Are you sure about this? You won’t regret it?”
“I mean to negotiate as best I can to ensure that I don’t.”
This is a commitment from Maomao. It is not because she has to. She was given the chance to back down multiple times.
Ah-Duo’s words seemed to strengthen Maomao’s resolve.
@Travis-Butler said in The Apothecary Diaries Vol. 15 Discussion!:
she didn't have any desire to do so for her own sake; it was something she was expected to do, and she did it because she had to.
She was fully willing to sleep with him. I don't see anything in the text that said she did not want to do this, only she was worried about getting pregnant. You could say she was indifferent, but I see everything in the text pointing to her being committed and this is how far she is willing to go to prove it. She had the out from Ah Duo, and didn't even consider it.
@Travis-Butler said in The Apothecary Diaries Vol. 15 Discussion!:
Maybe I'm wrong, but I saw that very much as her respecting his desire to serve the nation. And her request to "use her" in the context of solving problems for the nation. Nothing romantic there.
I wasn't specifically saying this was romantic. But this does show Maomao genuinely cares about Jinshi, not just a duty. Maomao was frustrated that Jinshi was weighing Maomao's feelings above the nation and his own best interests. He didn't bring Luomen to the Western Capital because of Maomao, and she has a fit earlier kicking her legs about him caring so much about her. After she tells him to use her, she says he's only human as she takes his face in her hands. I'm surprised you think this was only about the nation, and not how Maomao was worried about Jinshi not being selfish enough.
The principle that drove Jinshi’s behavior seemed very similar to Luomen’s. She was afraid that if he went on like this, he would end up just as luckless in life as her old man. Just like Pops... He’d spent himself trying to rescue everyone and everything. Like a fool. He should have wanted more, been greedier, but instead he’d suffered his fate patiently.
I was showcasing this because if Jinshi puts what's "best for Maomao" aka letting her go, above his own needs again, I think she would be angry. She doesn't want this to happen to Jinshi, the nation is a pretext for her deeper reasons. We've seen her show concern for his health time and time again, she is never obligated to help him get a good nights sleep.
@Travis-Butler said in The Apothecary Diaries Vol. 15 Discussion!:
I think it's an accurate characterization of her situation and her feelings in LN 13
I guess we just completely disagree on the meaning behind the LN 13 scenes then...
@Travis-Butler said in The Apothecary Diaries Vol. 15 Discussion!:
she's doing it because it's expected of her, because she doesn't think she can say no.
And I can't help but disagree with you. Just because she is worried about the political disaster of having a child, and even if she does think the "sleeping" is only an obligation as you say, that shouldn't completely override any possible romantic feelings she has for Jinshi. A couple can feel strongly about each other and not be ready to take things physically. She feels safe with him and clearly enjoys his company. His personality makes her smile which is rare for her when it's not about herbs.
LN 14
“That’s tragic!” Jinshi looked at her, pouting.
Maomao couldn’t resist a little smile.
@Travis-Butler said in The Apothecary Diaries Vol. 15 Discussion!:
But not because it'd make her happy. And she goes about it with the clinical detachment of a courtesan serving a particularly important client, not the anticipation of a woman preparing for the first time with her lover, or even a consort expecting a visit from the Emperor.
It not making her happy, and how she goes about it clinically do not go hand in hand. She goes about things this way because that's how Maomao is. She wouldn't act like a blushing woman for her lover because Maomao isn't like that.
“I told you I came prepared for this, didn’t I?” She averted her eyes as if begging him not to make her say it again.
He wasn’t the only nervous one; she was too.
Although she was in fact nervous.
