[28%] if my father saw through how conflicted I was, said, ► Paragraph ends with a comma, merge the following dialogue into it.
[38%] women. Apparently, they were “Instagram-worthy”. ► Move the period inside the quotes.
[4%] that fill the Magmatic Sols. You can destroy a detachment, ► It should be Magimatic.
[15%] telling everyone else to be careful, Diablo casted a spell. ► It should be cast?
[31%] decision. She raised her hands up to the air, and chanted, ► Paragraph ends with a comma, merge the following dialogue into it or make it a colon.
[41%] “....Y...Yes...” ► It should be 3 periods.
[41%] Edeglard’s body began crumbling into particles of light ► It should be Edelgard’s.
[46%] came falling down from the castle., but the place they ► Remove extra period.
[54%] “Edelgard is special to you, after all,” ► It should be a period.
[67%] Lumachina, she complained that she “smelled like God”. ► Move the period inside the quotes.
[86%] said she “needs to try something for the first time”. ► Move the period inside the quotes.
[2%] I would’ve expected for a thirteen year old boy. ► It should be thirteen-year-old (hyphens).
[44%] “By the way, the princess says she’ll be making ► It should be said?
[92%] them through. I suppose I really should apologize ► Missing period.
[7%] I was certain I had mishead, however. There is no way ► It should be misheard.
[15%] sleeping with no bed and without eat a proper dinner, ► It should be eating.
[43%] not understand that? Now matter how much someone ► It should be No.
[50%] pulled at my arms, drawing my down to lie beside him. ► It should be me.
[65%] It’s light enough to see my feet already, and it will only keep getting lighter as we walk, ► Maybe bright / brighter?
[Generic] Gerard's skill Self Modification is written 2 times as Self-Modification (with a dash). Remove the dash to make it consistent with previous volumes.
[Generic] Gerard's skill Self Transcendence is written 6 times as Self-Transcendence (with a dash). Remove the dash to make it consistent.
Volume 6 - Part 3:
[Generic] The skill Glory Within Mine Hands is written 2 times as Glory in Mine Hands (in instead of Within).
[Generic] While Hel is a place that exists in this world there are some instances of hel (lowercase) that should probably be hell. I listed them below. (If that's not the case then the instances of hell should be changed to hel instead?)
[14%] In the midst of this hel hot enough to even boil rock, ► It should be hell.
[37%] save them from this hel. However, reality forced her ► It should be hell.
[37%] who drove them further into hel. She was the scum ► It should be hell.
[58%] What the hell is she?! I don’t know anything like her?! ► It should be anyone ? (Or is anything used on purpose?)
[65%] But.. Ahhh, how ironic. To think that the one to say ► It should be 3 periods.
[87%] Didn’t Exgate Online accomodate all sorts of regions ► It should be accommodate.
[84%] Shadow Summoners. However. what would happen if ► It should be a comma.
[89%] then was caught by entirely surprise. While Shadow ► It should be entirely by (switch around).
[92%] If Hinse wanted to avoid it, she probably could have . ► Remove extra space.
[Generic] Flio used Purge to purify Delaveza Forest and not Purification, but the new name is certainly better. Just a reminder to update the previous parts to match.
[Generic] Uliminas is described as the Dark One's confederate but considering her fear of being killed and all the word subordinate makes more sense to me.
[9%] like, sorry for it, y’know? I just... I just can’t....” ► It should be 3 periods.
[11%] Rys took over Balirossa's training from Flio, and ► It should be Balirossa’s (different ’ ).
[13%] can’t block me like that...” Uliminas hid behind a ► Thought, not dialogue. Remove the closing double quote.
[19%] meowne of the strongest spells in existence?!” ► Thought, not dialogue. Remove the closing double quote.
[39%] “Ha,” said Byleri. “Ha ha haaaaaa?! ► The dialogue's closing double quote is missing.
[47%] Blossom’s cries of Joy, Belarossa rushed over ► A couple of issues:
It should be joy (lowercase).
It should be Balirossa.
[52%] “And who might you be?”As he stood in thought, ► Missing space.
[64%] He’ll kill me for sure... ” There was no sign of ► Remove extra space.
[82%] to the castle?” Balirossa emphatically shook ► Add a line break?
Hm, I see what you mean. The way she replies quite confidently here is a little surprising given how uncertain and bewildered she is in the previous scene. Well, it's an easy fix; I've added a little speech tag to clarify. Thanks both of you for the feedback!